Thursday, December 08, 2005

My daughter's secret plan for domination . . .

is to slowly drive me insane by refusing to sleep. She's in her room right now, talking, playing, a little crying, not at all taking her nap. We've been battling it out for two hours-- yes, you read that right, TWO HOURS, to get her to fall asleep. I'm a little more crazed than I was, well, just over two hours ago, and Iris, much to my dismay, is no more tired than she was. You'd think, after fighting for two hours to not go to sleep last night, finally falling asleep just after 10:00 pm, then waking up hourly most of the night and eventually for the day at just after 7:00 am-- you'd think she'd be sleepy, right? At least over-tired, for sure. Nope. Not even a little. But me, I'm ready for a quaalude, or I would possibly settle for a strong gin and tonic. Or maybe it's Iris who needs the quaalude?

So Iris's sleep is my big parenting failure. She has never, ever, in her life slept as much as she is "supposed" to and has only once, ever slept all the way through the entire night. I suspect she only did it to further add to my never-ending frustration "see mom, I CAN sleep through the night, I just WON'T. Phhhhttttt!"

I can't even begin to fathom the depths the sleep-deprivation and frustration has reached in my life. I maintain a special psychotic jealousy for friend's whose children fall asleep easily and stay asleep for 12 hours a night. My friend Melissa is an example. She nannies for 50 hours a week and has more enthusiasm and energy than any human being really should, considering how unbelievably stressful her days can be. I secretly seethe with resenment over her forsight to create a going to sleep routine coupled with a naturally sleep-loving baby. Why didn't I get one of those? Is there still time to trade mine in?

At any rate, my beautiful, amazing, smart and delightful daughter turns in to the bain of my existence at night-night time, and I see no end in sight. At least not this afternoon. We're now creeping up on 2 1/2 hours of napping protest and after a great deal of screaming, Iris has won. Doesn't look like there will be a nap today. Should make bedtime extra fun!

Now where did I hide those 'ludes?