We had a fantastic prenatal visit today. I brought up the topic of homebirth with my midwife and, not suprisingly, she thought it was a great idea. Of course, every just keeps saying "whatever you would feel most comfortable doing!" (which is what she said) but she really just made it sound like a perfectly normal thing to do (which it is). She also said it comes down to where I'm going to feel the most safe having this baby. Some women prefer to go to a birth center because it feels more safe to them than being at home. I certainly felt that way when I had Iris. Having ended up at the hospital anyways, the birth center doesn't feel like that safe of a place any longer. I worry that I would associate the birth center with my last experience there. My midwife also said that I don't even have to really decide until I go in to labor! She said, well, prepare to have a homebirth, and if that doesn't feel right, we'll come to the birth center. As usual, I liked having a "back up" option. Last time it was the hospital. This time, it isn't (unless of course there's any emergency).
Sooooo . . . I think we're going to go down that road for a while. The road of planning a home birth. Sit with it. Live with it. Plan for it. Try it on for size and see how it feels. I'm actually getting MORE excited about it the more I think about it.
We also talked about getting an ultrasound. I was incredibly torn on this issue. Last time I didn't get one, and I felt very confident that was the right decision for me and my baby. This time, I just felt like I needed some reassurance, and we very, very much want to know the sex of the baby. So, I'm getting an ultrasound. I feel on the fence about it. I'm not dying for one, but I'm not completely averse to it, either. On the plus side, within a couple of weeks I'll be able to announce whether or not there's a little baby boy or girl on the way!
Almost everything about this pregnancy and preparing for the labor and birth is different. My midwife mentioned how happy I am now, compared to last time. I'm in a very, very different space about the whole thing this time. I'm more supported, I'm more sure of myself, I have the love of my family to rely on more heavily. It's quite wonderful, actually.