Tuesday, May 30, 2006

In the last moments of being a wage-earner

I am sure most (if not every) SAHM comes to this point. When they are in their last moments of employment, having looked forward to what's to come for a long time, just a little bit panicked about what it means to actually stay AT HOME and bring home NO money. Preparing to do the only job they want to do, which is raise children, but wonder if maybe, just maybe, this is really going to work out. Well, here I am. A couple of hours left of work, no one expecting me to get much done so I'm surfing the web a bit and taking care of personal things. Tomorrow I'm officially a SAHM. Day one of my new life and identity. When someone asks me "what do you do?" I get to say "I raise my children". Not that I couldn't have said that before, but usually when people ask what you do, they mean "what do you do to make money?" so I always answered "I work in a medical records office". Even though that was only 20 hours of an entire week.

My life is on the cusp of so much change. It's no wonder things have been so hard. I have heard that even good change is stressful. I am beginning to understand what that means.

I got a little party at work. A cake from Whole Foods and yummy pizza and juice. I didn't expect much. I tend to be pretty much overlooked in my job since I don't work normal business hours. It made me feel really nice, especially considering that my number one complaint about the company I work for is that they don't really value their employees that much. Everyone said such nice things, and signed a nice card. Lots of well wishes and statements of "oh, you're so lucky!" Which I am lucky. Very lucky. I'm lucky that I get to the most important thing to me in the entire world, be with my kids 100% of the time.

Sigh. You know how even when something sucks, like really, really sucks, but when it's over you get a bit verklempt about it? I feel that way about my job. I think, hmmm, maybe it wasn't so bad. Or maybe that's just the chocolate cake talking ;)

2 comments:

  1. When people ask what I do, I really enjoy saying, "I'm a housewife" and watching their reaction. About half the people get flustered and say, "Oh, but that's the toughest job in the world!" in that insincere kind of way. The other half get a dreamy look and say, "I wish I could do that."

    I could say, "I'm a writer" or whatever, but I like watching what a person's reaction will be to the word "housewife". It's kind of a test, I think.

    When I quit working to be a SAHM I was still pregnant with my first child so I REALLY freaked out the first week about my place in life. But believe me, you will get used to it soooo fast and then really feel lucky!

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  2. I used to dream of not working and just staying home all day w/or w/out kids! Then it happened and I was totally freaked out by it. Still am!! "You mean I'm not gonna make any money?! None? But what if..." I hated my job too and still was woried about leaving and thinking, oh I'll miss this and this, etc. It's a very odd feeling. Very excited for you though!

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