I have been sad that I can't carry Iris in a sling while I'm pregnant. Obviously, some women do this, but even carrying Iris just a little ways in my arms is so tiring for me, attempting to wrap her 30 lb body up in my ABC (Asian Baby Carrier) would just be WAY too much strain on me. Sigh. I wonder if by the time my body is ready to carry her again if she'll be too big and/or not want to be carried in a sling.
There are so many things about this pregnancy that are hard on both Iris and I. Nursing has been hard. My body being huge has been hard. The morning sickness was hard. My patience has been non-existent. I can't play with her like I used to be able to, I can't carry her like I used to be able to, I can't do most anything like I used to be able to! Grrrr. It feels like it's just the practice for when the baby comes, and I will still no longer have everything I want to be able to give to Iris. I wasn't prepared for it to begin so soon. I just thought, yeah, let's have another baby! without accounting for the fact that having another baby would start taking a toll on me about six weeks from conception. I'm ready for the pregnancy to be over. I'm ready for our new family member to be here and I'm ready to start getting back to my old body and self.
I know things will be different when the new baby is here. It will never go back to how it used to be. Hopefully things will be better, harder, but better. Hopefully Iris will gain so much from having a baby sister she won't feel like she's lost so much of me, but instead gained more of a family.