Monday, August 07, 2006

So the struggle starts immediately, huh?

Okay, back to our regularily scheduled blog posts about parenting. Sort of. Boyfriend is physically leaving by the end of the week and will be moving out for good in September. Wait! This is really is a parenting thing, stay with me. Now I have to figure out to explain, to a TWO year old, what the hell is going on. It's so hard because, obviously, she is pretty intelligent, but there is only so much you can say to a toddler. She already asks me all day long where dada is, knowing full well he's at work. So when he's gone and she says "where's dada?" I get to say "sleeping on so-and-so's couch" or "he doesn't live here anymore". Hmmm. Yeah. Doesn't feel quite right.

My absolute number one fear, as I think is most mamas in these situations, is that my children are going to suffer from this. There is an amazing amount of guilt that comes from looking at a toddler who adores her family and knowing that you're going to be taking that away from her. Everyone, everyone, says it's for the best. I'm doing the right thing. I'm not sure Iris would necessarily agree. It's almost nicer that she is young, and babe #2 isn't even born yet, so hopefully the transition will be smooth. Who knows. Iris might not even be able to look back and remember the drama of her family.

I'm going to meet with my counselor today and ask him this very question. How do I talk to Iris about what's happening to her family. Isn't there an episode of Blue's Clues I can put on that deals with this?


  1. You are TOTALLY doing the right thing. It is better for Iris to see a mom who demands to be treated with respect, than to see a mom and dad who live together but aren't happy because the dad is a s&%t to the mom. You are the model for her future relationships with men (yeah, that's helpful, like you didn't have enough guilt and angst going on...). Really, while she might miss her dad, her dad is the one who created the situation, not you. You are going to be able to give her more stability in the long run this way. I completely support you and I think it's awesome that you have taken this step to improve your life! Good for you!!!

  2. Thanks mama :)

    It's funny that you were just posting this comment as I was thinking about my father, and how so many things about my relationship parallel what he and my mother went through. It sends chills down my spine! My mother is one of those people who believes in sticking it out at all costs. I don't want my daughters to learn that from me. I would be horrified if either of them ever went through what I am. Sigh.

    Thank you again for your nice words.

  3. I'm new to your blog so I don't know the situation, but I am sorry you are going through this!

  4. Hi Krissy, thanks for your kind words. I promise if you read through some of the past posts they are MUCH less drama-free :)


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