During a conversation with my dad last night I found out that my brother is interested in getting back in touch with me. We haven't seen each other in two years, and therefor haven't been in each other's children's lives in that long, as well. He is eight years older than me and lives in NYC with his girlfriend and their two daughters. The last time I saw him was when Iris was nine weeks old and I brought her back to WI for my family to meet her. My brother just acted like an ass to me (whether that is imagined or real, who knows, he was just being an ass). After that I just sort of lost interest in trying to keep in touch with him, and for whatever reason, he lost interest in trying to keep in touch with me. We hadn't been super close before that, but after that trip our communication was limited to major holidays and other important occassions.
I talked to my brother the day after Eloise was born to give him the good news. It was fun to talk with him about it because he has been a part of both of his daughter's births, both of which were natural births. To my suprise he was the first (and so far only!) family member to send a gift for the baby, which I thought was super sweet. So, last night I was chatting with dad about my brother's family's recent trip to WI. My dad made a point of telling me that my brother said he wanted to make an effort to be more in touch with me. It almost made me start crying because this, to me, is a HUGE deal. I told my dad that I would make more of an effort to stay in touch with him, as well.
Not sure what will actually come of all of this, but it's a start. Lately it feels like lots of things are making a fresh start. Instead of feeling scary it's starting to feel good to me. I am refusing to believe my options are as limited as I, and so many other people, have thought that they were. I just can't stand being in this limbo-land where I can't really do anything to move on with my life. I want to just relax and be here for my baby girl but at the same time I feel a strong need to get my butt moving and do something. It's probably a good thing my body has given me such a loud and clear message of where my attention belongs, otherwise my head just might have taken over.