Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Could it be?

Matt and I met a new counselor tonight. Remember what a disappointment the last counselor turned out to be? All I had to go on was a list of counselors who were covered by our insurance and the first one I spoke to, who also happened to be right here in our neighborhood, turned out to be pretty good! Matt actually liked her, as well, so hopefully we'll get something accomplished with this one.

It feels overwhelming to have to start over with a new counselor, but I am confident that after the initial "getting to know you" sessions we'll be cruising along on our way to some sort of bliss, right? We've been getting along much better these days, so I am feeling hopeful that even if we don't decide to be in a relationship, we will still be okay.

In completely unrelated news, I am going with Matt to a wedding next week. We were invited to two seperate weddings in October, and being that I love weddings, I'm excited to be able to go to one of them. It's a friend of Matt's that I met the night of our first date. If I recall correctly, he pulled Matt aside and in that drunk I-think-I'm-whispering-but-really-I'm-shouting way he said that I was hot. *blush* I at least owe it to this man to go to his wedding, do I not? So, I have to go to a wedding, a night wedding, one with "cocktail attire" required. Have I mentioned that the only thing in my closet I can even fit in right now is yoga pants and t-shirts? Yeah, so I'm going shopping. I don't even know for what, as my body is just blobby and wierd. I want to look, um, hot, but I'll settle for not looking totally ridiculous. I'm going to need a dress, probably something to wear over the dress (cause I can't wear a beaten up sweatshirt!), stockings, shoes . . . the only thing I DO have is jewelry (the diamond pieces Matt got me for Christmas last year) and make-up. I don't even know what to do with my stringy, long, shapeless hair.

I was just looking at shoes on Zappos and fell head over heels in love with about a million different pairs. I wish I had reason to wear cute, fashionable shoes every damn day. I love that online you can find the best shoes in size 11 (aka the gigantic feet size). I feel like a complete dork asking for shoes in my size in stores. Usually I just end up getting frustrated and saying "okay, so which of ALL these shoes are in my size?" and then the salesperson carries out a couple ugly pairs of clogs and some white sneakers.

So, that's my mission, to find a cute outfit to wear to this wedding, and have fun. Melissa is coming to stay with the girls that night (though after Eloise's crying fit tonight, I hope she doesn't back out on us!) and I will drink champagne and look cute (albeit a little plump) and have, gasp!, fun.

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