Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Oh I'm so sad

It seems pretty sure that my dog, Lily, is dying. She hasn't been eating the past few days and I didn't think much of it (she has been fickle in the past with food and always just starts eating again, no big deal) but yesterday she seemed to be really weak and I noticed she has gotten very, very thin. Being that I am more busy than any person really should be, my dog hasn't gotten that much physical attention from me. I didn't realize she had really lost weight until I gave her a bath the other night. Her fluffy coat of hair did a great job of hiding the weight loss. So, I told my mom that Lily needed to go to the vet, I was worried about her. This morning Lily walked down the stairs and got in to the car and seemed reasonably fine. I dropped her off at the vet and asked them to call my mom when they knew something, because my mom really knows more than I do about dog health, and she was also going to be paying the vet bill.

I just now got a call from my mom saying that the vet told her that Lily collapsed in the office and they didn't think she was going to survive. It sounded like they gave her oxygen and she was now "resting comfortably". They also did an x-ray and it looked like there was a tumor by her heart and then something else, I forget. They are bringing the x-rays to an emergency clinic to see what they can say about it. My mom really thinks that something very serious is wrong and Lily will most likely have to be put to sleep. Conisdering that she is over 10 years old and is apparently very sick, that sounds like the right choice. I guess I don't know.

I just started bawling when my mom called. I can't believe Lily is so sick. If I hadn't brought her to the vet she would have collapsed at home and would have died. I feel like the worst pet owner ever in the whole world. I haven't given her anywhere near the love and attention she deserves the last few weeks. I think I wrote a blog entry about this a bit ago, how I decided my mom needed to take her back because I couldn't give her the attention she deserved.

I just can't believe this is happening. Logically, I know dogs get old and sick and have to die at some point. But not today. I don't know how I am going to deal with this.

ETA So it looks like Lily probably has Addison's disease as well as having heart disease or pneumonia on top of it. She is spending the night at a critical care facility and the vet there says is a very, very sick dog. The best case scenario is that she has Addison's and then something else and it can be treatable (but not necessary curable) and the worst case scenario is after many expensive tests and nights in the hospital, she will still be very sick and will have to be put to sleep. I'm so exhausted after dealing with this today. In the end I'm just glad she's still alive. I hope she can come home and I can spend a great deal of time pampering her to make up for the shitty dog owner I've been. I'm so glad my mom is paying the vet bills. Just for this critical care facility alone it will be $1300 to $3000 depending on what they need to do. That's on top of the bills she accrued at the regular vet earlier today.

I would have to say, besides the obvious joy of giving birth to Eloise, that the last few weeks have been some of the worst of my life. When will the shit storm end, huh?

3 comments:

  1. So sorry to hear about your dog. You are such a strong woman, such a great mother. It sounds like you have a great support network, make sure you are leaning on them as much as you can, and you'll make it through. There must me brighter days ahead; right?!

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  2. I am so sorry you are going through all this! When it rains, it pours...it's so true.

    I hope your dog is okay. I can't imagine dealing with the emotions of that on top of everything else.

    Hang in there and keep us updated with how Lily is doing.

    Good luck!

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  3. Is that why you called last night when I was at my board meeting?

    Well, I can understand totally how you feel, but as far as guilt goes, you may not have been terribly attentive, but you were still a good dog mom. And I doubt you would've seen this sooner no matter what, especially if Lily is moody like Boone is and often won't eat just because she doesn't want to. It's still very sad though. I'm sorry all the wonderful joy of Eloise is being tempered by so much painful stuff.

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