I mentioned in a previous post that I wsa wondering if I have postpartum depression. Seeing as how I have been hit with the loss of a relationship, the birth of a baby, a trip to the emergency room and the death of my dog all within a four week time span, well, duh, yeah, I'm going to be depressed. As I wondered before, I am not sure that my depression symptoms are related to being postpartum or if they exist due to my circumstances.
Doing some quick research on the net yielded some interesting results. Feeling restless or irritable? Check. Feeling sad, hopeless or overwhelmed? Yeah. Crying alot? Well, I would alot more if I didn't have to save face in front of my children. Eating too much or too little? Yup. Sleeping too little or too much? I actually sleep less than I could be, which is quite a feat when you've got a newborn. Trouble focusing, remembering or making decisions? What was the question? Feeling worthless or guilty? Uh, have you been reading my blog? Okay, I could go on and on. Needless to say, many of the criteria for PPD apply to me. I don't think I'm ready to throw myself under a bus or anything, but it's interesting to know that on some level, I have a diagnosis of depression. In college I went through a period of being depressed and taking medication, this feels very different, much less hopeless.
I don't know what the answer is (of course) and I'm not sure if I should run off to the nearest pharmacist to get some meds, or if I should just try and suck it up and get through, if I should start some serious therapy or what. I suppose all this indecision is just another symptom, huh? I just want to feel normal.
I'm sure I will talk to my midwives about it when I see them next week. Hopefully things start looking up before then.