Tuesday, September 19, 2006

PPD, hmmm . . .

I mentioned in a previous post that I wsa wondering if I have postpartum depression. Seeing as how I have been hit with the loss of a relationship, the birth of a baby, a trip to the emergency room and the death of my dog all within a four week time span, well, duh, yeah, I'm going to be depressed. As I wondered before, I am not sure that my depression symptoms are related to being postpartum or if they exist due to my circumstances.

Doing some quick research on the net yielded some interesting results. Feeling restless or irritable? Check. Feeling sad, hopeless or overwhelmed? Yeah. Crying alot? Well, I would alot more if I didn't have to save face in front of my children. Eating too much or too little? Yup. Sleeping too little or too much? I actually sleep less than I could be, which is quite a feat when you've got a newborn. Trouble focusing, remembering or making decisions? What was the question? Feeling worthless or guilty? Uh, have you been reading my blog? Okay, I could go on and on. Needless to say, many of the criteria for PPD apply to me. I don't think I'm ready to throw myself under a bus or anything, but it's interesting to know that on some level, I have a diagnosis of depression. In college I went through a period of being depressed and taking medication, this feels very different, much less hopeless.

I don't know what the answer is (of course) and I'm not sure if I should run off to the nearest pharmacist to get some meds, or if I should just try and suck it up and get through, if I should start some serious therapy or what. I suppose all this indecision is just another symptom, huh? I just want to feel normal.

I'm sure I will talk to my midwives about it when I see them next week. Hopefully things start looking up before then.

3 comments:

  1. My gut says it's more situational than chemical - just find some people you can talk to to vent off some of the stress. Best of luck to you and I'll keep you and yours in my thoughts.

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  2. Listen to your heart about who's best to talk to; you definitely shouldn't just suck it up and go it alone, but often a friend who can listen, help out, and give lots of hugs is worth way more than a dose of prescription drugs.

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  3. Drugs don't usually help if you're crying a lot and feeling down because of grief and external stress. But if you start feeling like you can't function at all, sometimes medication can help because if a person is under horrendous external stress for a long long time then your brain chemistry can change from that. But it sounds like at this point meds wouldn't do any good - you'd still have external stress and still have grief.

    But you've got lots of friends to vent to :) And hopefully things will start turning around. Plus, a good counselor to cry on their shoulder would be good too. I wish had some recommendations but I'm trying to find one of those myself!

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