Sunday, January 07, 2007

Family bedrooms are for the birds

So I'm just curious, who out there, in toddler land, can actually make a family bedroom work? We moved away from the family bed shortly after Eloise came. I just got no sleep sandwiched between a toddler and an infant so now Iris sleeps in her own bed a mere two feet away from my bed. It was a fantastic solution at first, but has quickly worn out of it's novelty. When Eloise was tiny not a whole lot could wake her, not even a loud toddler (and that's saying alot!). These days every little thing Iris does wakes her right up. It's infuriating. Yes, I realize that is a strong word, but when you've had as little sleep as I have, it's the only fitting one. Every Eloise waking wakes me up. Every Iris waking wakes Eloise AND I up. Iris seriously, seriously needs her own bedroom. Seriously. Anyone out there willing to take this toddler in for the night?

People who rave about the closeness of a family bedroom either A. have children who don't wake each other up, B. are lying, or C. are so sleep-deprived that they've become delusional.

9 comments:

  1. We didn't even manage with the Kidlet past 6 months. She woke me up at her every move. D wakes me up with his snoring. Now the Kidlet has her own bedroom and I have earplugs. Not at all what I had in mind, but sometimes we get stuck with situations that are less than ideal! Hope you get some sleep soon!

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  2. I've never known anyone who could do the family bed after 2 years old and not be totally sleep deprived. I had a co-worker long before I had kids who warned me to stop doing the family bed at 2 years old or I would feel awful all the time like he did - his daughter was 3 and they were having a horrible time getting her to sleep in her own bed and they were getting no sleep with her in their bed.

    Nan's girls share a bedroom with each other and she says that is hard too, although not AS hard.

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  3. my daughter is two and my other daughter 3 mos. Like you, we have a seperate bed for our two year old in our room, and although she gets pretty loud at night, the baby stays sleeping. Sorry I couldn't help!

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  4. We have a queen and a double mattress side by side on the ground and a cot at the end pf the mattresses. The 2 yo sleeps in between my husband and I and the 7 mo sleeps in the cot. My husband snores and my toddler cries and talks in his sleep. The baby sleeps through it all. The baby wakes screaming for night feeds and the other sleep through it all. I sleep through none of it and am permanently awake! I would like the baby in bed with us also but I am too tired with the second one to guarantee I won't roll on him or pull a blanket over his head. However - we have a portacot in a different room and the kids fall asleep in seperate rooms - in the same room they egg each other on with the screaming to the point I worry they may vomit! Its working for us at the moment but I worry about how we will get them off into their own room or rooms one day - like in a year or so - I know people say 15 yos arent still in their parents rooms but I don't know..... Sleep deprivation sux...makes it very hard to deal with whinging I find!!!

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  5. Yeah, I fall into that C category I think. I do love the family bed sort of, mostly because I'm not sure how I would even begin to transition the kids out of the family bed and down the hall to their own room. What I'm afraid of is that the kids will still be up in the middle of the night, but I'll have to actually get out of bed to get them back to sleep, and so we'll all get LESS sleep as a result.

    So while I feel your pain, I have no answers. If you find any, let me know, would ya?

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  6. Sorry, I'm of no help either! I love our family bed. My almost 4 year old son is easy to sleep with...very little wakes him up. Although, he does sometimes knee me in the back...but mostly he's pretty cuddly. Sophie, 4 months, still wakes up twice a night to nurse, but usually falls right back to sleep. She on the other hand is more wiggly at night which tends to wake me up more often than Jack ever did...but I can deal. It beats getting OUT of bed to tend to her...plus I like being snuggled with from all sides! My husband alternates between sleeping with us and sleeping on the couch (he snores pretty loud), but he loves having the kids in bed too.

    I don't think you can make a gross genralization about it...it works for some and it doesnt work for others...I think it depends mostly on the compatability of the parents and the kids sleeping habits. Good luck :)

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  7. Wow! Lots of good comments here about this topic. I'm probably a day late and a dollar short, but the fmaily bed has worked well for us. (With some boundaries, of course!) So, like one of the moms we have large matresses on the floor side by side. I do not let kids sleep side-by-side, cause they wake each other. We have a fan for noise which helps drown out snores and stuff. A really loud fan I might add. As my kids get older, naps are done in their big kid beds. It is just easier that way! And, I just want to say that the Family Bed does not work for everyone. If your baby is a light sleeper, she might do better in a bed by herself. Follow her cues, and meet HER needs...and yours too! Don't feel bad about it either.

    You poor thing! Make your hubby take the kids Sat am and get some sleep!:-)

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  8. i don't have kids so i supposed i'm not really allowed to comment, but ummm yeah a family bed sounds a bit like hell to me. i guess i'm just super conservative or something but a family of 4 in the same bed is just a little weird to me. and i can't imagine it being quiet/calm enough to get good sleep. i guess i'm still delusional enough to think that if i do ever get married and have kids, i'll still want to have alone time at night with my husband so i'll want to transition kids out of the bed long before they are 4 years old or something like that.

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  9. Everyone is always welcome to comment here, as long as you're not a jerky pants ;)

    I think if I (or alot of us) thought we would be bed-sharing or room-sharing with our children before we had any, we mostly would have said that's an absurd idea! In fact, most families do it because you actually get more sleep than you would if you didn't. Being a parent is one big rollercoaster or more or less sleep-deprived days. You'll see!

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