I am starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel of this whole having two children thing. Everyone told me the first year was the hardest, and I'm really hoping so because I'm not sure how I could last another year through something harder! Eloise is just over nine months old now and slowly but surely, it's becoming easier for me to parent two.
The one big thing that is helping is that Iris has become so much more independent over the last few weeks. She is 100% potty trained now. Not only is she potty trained, but she often insists on doing it "by self!" which means she will go to the bathroom, set up her potty seat on the toilet, move the step stool, take off her pants and undies, go potty, wipe, pull up her pants, move the step stool over and wash her hands. All while I sit in the living room! It's pretty cool. This certainly isn't every time, but it's some of the time.
On Monday the girls and I went to this cool coffee shop called My Coffeehouse. It has a big area full of toys and a train table and couches and they have yummy food and drink. Iris played while Eloise explored the toys on the floor and you know what I did? I ate a sandwich and flipped through a magazine. Insane, huh? I mean, not for like an hour or something, and not without looking up every other page to make sure Eloise hadn't shoved something in her mouth, but I couldn't believe it. The girls were playing independently enough for me to actually sit down and relax for a second. "This is so cool." I kept saying to myself. There was another mama there with her almost five year old and a three month old. I looked at her and thought about how long and dark that tunnel looked when Eloise was three months old.
Dare I say I'm really beginning to enjoy mothering these two girls now? Of course, there were always moments of beauty even in the hardest of days, but the times of fun and laughter and truly enjoying my daughters is much, much greater than the time I spend struggling and exhausted.