Monday, November 19, 2007

More baby steps

First off, whoa. I just heard the loudest thunder clap outside, which is especially weird because it rarely thunders here. Okay, off to the topic at hand.

We are still doing well with our baby steps with Iris. Baths continue to be separate every night and I have yet to yell once during a bath time. Ahhhh. This is nice!

Tonight Matt brought up the topic of having some sort of system in place for discipline in the evenings. He thought that the first time Iris was sassy (and by sassy I mean, hurts her sister, screams, etc etc) she got a certain punishment. The second time, a bigger punishment, then the third time, an even bigger punishment. Although I liked the idea of giving Iris these chances with the consequences being bigger each time, I am starting to shy away from the idea of focusing that much on what she's doing wrong and instead I wonder what would happen if we focused more on what she's doing right. Even though I consider our family to be in to gentle discipline, in reality, we have a long ways to go. We have tried time outs for a long time and they just aren't working. Not for Iris and not for us. Initially they were set up to be a punishment for hurting her sister but lately they've morphed in to a leverage point over lots of behavior issues. This doesn't sit right with me.

I wonder what would happen if, instead of working on a plan to discipline her when she's been sassy, we worked on a plan to praise her when she's been awesome. Would the earth cease to rotate on it's axis? Would our child be better behaved? Who knows, but it would be an interesting experiment.


  1. Is it really a good idea to reward Iris for "not being terrible" though? Shouldn't that be the norm?

  2. Yes and no. Think about yourself-- would you rather I point out every time you do something I don't like or would you rather I applaud the things you do that are awesome?

    Of course, you should always be awesome, whether or not anyone recognizes it, but doesn't it make you feel great when someone does?


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