Brilliance

This morning I was looking through the drawings Iris made last night and saw this:



Now, I would have thought this a fluke, but she did it more than once. One of them, the one on the left is a baby sister. Iris told me as much several times.

So I'm pretty sure this kind of artistic talent at 2 1/2 makes her a genius, but of course, as her mother, I might be kind of biased.

Doing my happy dance

So, the most exciting thing I have to post about this evening is the purchase of our Dan Zanes tickets for his upcoming Seattle stop. Well, technically I bought two sets of tickets. The first I bought immediately at the stroke of 10 am on Friday, thinking with my impeccable timing we'd surely practically be sitting in Zanes' lap. Well, the best I got was tenth row. Hmmm, I thought. Weird. How did ten rows of people buy their tickets faster than me? So I checked the tickets for the other show (there are two in one afternoon) and wouldn't you know it, I got better seats. Fourth row, to be exact. Yep. How cool is that? I've seen alot of shows in my life. I mean, alot, and I can't remember the last time I was this excited about a concert. So now I have to re-sell my sub-par tenth row tickets. If you want to see Dan Zanes in April in Seattle, let me know. I'll hook you up.

This weekend is the start of our week of relaxing. Matt took the whole week off of work and already we are loving this new schedule. Of course, next Sunday night we will probably both be in tears about the upcoming work week, but whatever. Right now we're going to par-tay! I got to watch a bit of the Oscars tonight, which I really enjoy. How funny was Ellen? I really do adore her. And the skit with John C. Reilly, Jack Black and Will Ferrell? Soooo funny. I love that they are doing more interesting things with the awards shows. And, as always, it was a joy to see Beyonce sing. I love that Jennifer Hudson has risen so far above and beyond anywhere that American Idol could have gotten her. She's adorable.

Sickness, shopping, hmmm . . .

So I've been in a bit of a fog. Eloise, Iris and I have been sick. Eloise has been the worst. She got sick two weeks ago, pretty much got over it, then got sick again. All of it is the sickness of the snot/coughing/stuffy head variety. Just annoying. Iris missed the first round of sickness two weeks ago, but she got it on the second round. A few nights ago I got less than four hours of sleep, total, from being up with a sick babe, so I've been foggy ever since. I think we might be on the tail end of it, though. Of course, Matt isn't sick. He never gets sick, it's so weird. He's the healthiest least healthy person I know! One thing that is good is that next week he is taking off from work, so I hope we'll all be happy and well to really enjoy our week together as a family.

Today the girls and I met Melissa and her two boys for some shopping. It was alot of fun! I forgot about our shopping days. I went a little overboard at Gymboree. It's always fun to tell Matt how much money I spent and wait to see what his reaction will be. Luckily I give it a really positive spin by first saying how much the clothes are needed ("they'll be naked without them!") and how good of a deal I got ("I swear everything was practically free!"). He always agrees that the clothes are adorable and most definitely needed. He's a good partner.

The big news in our lives is that I finally decided to drop out of our preschool co-op. I have been going back and forth about this decision for quite a while, but some recent jerkypants-ness by some other mamas on top of how much I have disliked it already put me right over the edge. I'm glad to be done. Our weeks will be open for so many more fun things-- I can start yoga again, hopefully see some friends more, attend some NINO meetings or maybe even some LLL meetings, we'll see! Life should be much, much better. I am only sad because Iris really enjoyed it. I don't really know what to say to her about it. I think I will just play up the other fun things we will do instead.

So, that's about it. Hopefully when I start feeling normal again I'll be back to my frantic posting pace.

Mama's Mama

Adveture's in Babywearing asked other bloggers to post a picture of and write about their mamas. I love my mom. I really, really do. It makes me sad all of the time that I live so far away from her. It's truly amazing now, as I grow as a mama myself, how my opinions of and love for my own mother have grown and changed.

Here are three photos of my mom and my daughters during my parent's last visit:

Newest Latest!

Hey, have you guys heard about this really cool new thing called the iPod? Oh, you have? What? You've had one for like five years now? Oh, right. That's because we're totally behind the times and only now, just today, got one. (a funny side note, Matt was recently asked on a flight if those were actual cd's he was listening to!)

So, yeah, we just got an iPod. It is so much fun. We put all of our music on to iTunes and are figuring it all out. I never knew why people like iPods so much but now, duh, I get it. The things are pretty darn cool. I'm listening to it right now, as I type. The Long Winters, to be exact. If you have't heard of them I suggest you, err, go to iTunes and download it!

In other excellent technology news, we are finally going ot get me the Miami Ink Razr that I have been drooling over for many months. It's my belated Valentine's present. Yay! I'm going to feel so "with it". Is it even possible that I might even be a little hip? Well, I can dream, if only for a day.

p.s. you might be interested and/or suprised to know that the first three songs I downloaded were Justin Timberlake's "Sexy Back", 50 Cent's "'Lil Bit" and Fratelli's "Flathead". I also only dowload "clean" songs so that I will be able to play any of them in front of Iris without feeling like the world's worst mother. Although, now that I listen to it, "'Lil Bit" might not be terribly appropriate for a two year old, even without the swears. Oops. On a funny side note, we bought Kanye West's "Late Registration" quite a while ago and I've probably only listened to it once or twice, because I am very rarely in a spot to listen to music when Iris isn't in the room/car. Damn it!

Six months!

Wow, Miss Eloise is six months old today. I can't believe it! She is growing so fast. Ten times faster, it seems, than Iris did. I remember hardly being able to wait until Iris could start solids, for example, but with Eloise it's a little more like "oh! we get to start solids now!"

She's getting so big, too. At her six month visit she was 18lbs 6oz and 27 1/2" long. Still not sitting up completely unassisted, which is kind of upsetting me! I mean, I know all babies are on their own schedule, but it's such a great milestone in terms of independence. She sits up and then just topples right over. The pediatrician said she is developing just fine, though, and as long as she can sit up assisted, she's fine. She talks up a storm and has to shove everything in her mouth, it's so cute! She's a pretty happy girl, all in all, so I'm happy about that.

Eloise and I were invited to a class about baby massage, so she and I went to that this morning. It was fun to be around so many other babies and parents. There were maybe 9 or so other babies there and all of their (first time!) parents. It's kind of frustrating for me being a mama of two because I can't very easily connect with other mamas of babies. All of the parents at the class knew each other through First Weeks classes and I was invited because I knew one of the mamas from our prenatal yoga days. Having a toddler means I can't very easily go to baby-oriented classes. I guess it's also hard because I pretty much have different issues than most first time parents have. I don't stress about most of the same things, but I do stress about things they don't have to deal with, like rough big sisters or sleeping arrangements or keeping big kid toys away from the baby. So, anyways, the massage class. I learned so much about purposeful touching and Eloise really enjoyed it. The teacher was really nice and so great with the babies, as well.

Date night

I'm going on a date tonight. An actual, real live date. With Matt, of course (although it was a funny joke for a second to make him think I was actually going on a date with someone else). We haven't been out alone together in, um, hmmmm. . . I don't really know. I think it was last spring. If you don't count therapy appointments, that is. If memory serves, it was last spring for a partner yoga class. Darling? Can you confirm or deny that? Anyways, I guess that's what happens when your relationship falls apart and then you have a baby who isn't terribly thrilled about anyone but her mother or occasionally if she's in the right mood, her father. We're going to the bar. Down the street. A dirty, dark, luckily not smokey bar to celebrate a belated Valentine's Day. How romantic are we? We'll see if one short date to the bar down the street will be enough to reignite any semblance of romance in our relationship.

This morning the girls and I took a long walk to the grocery store. I think it's about 11 blocks each way. I have always thought that was a really long ways, this is only the second time I have ever walked it, but honestly it wasn't too bad. It made me feel like we could actually get out and do something when we don't have the car. Maybe if we start making the trek more often I'll hopefully, possibly, start losing some of this baby weight?

Happy Valentine's Day!

Happy Valentine's Day all you beeeeeeeutiful people!

I'm so glad it's Valentine's Day. There is so much love in my life right now and it just makes this day all the more special. Any minute my honey will be home and the lovefest can begin! Oh, and by lovefest, I mean the eating of the treats, the giving of gifts, the hugging of the bodies and the smooching of the people we love the most. I sure can complain a lot, but damn if I'm not a lucky and well-loved mama.

I hope you're all having the best Valentine's Days ever. Seriously. You're awesome.

Feeling defeated

So, I haven't mentioned this, but Matt's been out of town for just over a week. I hate being home without him so I especially don't like broadcasting it to the world that he's gone. He'll be home tomorrow and his sister will be here tonight spending the night with us.

Where do I start?

As usually happens when Matt goes away for a business trip, everything falls apart. Even though we were well aware this happens and actively tried to keep it from happening this time, everything fell apart again. I hate to be so defeatist and am trying super hard to be more positive, but it's true. I wanted to be able to write about how I rocked this whole temporary single mama thing, but I didn't. Tuesday night went fine. Melissa came to watch the girls so I could attend a mandatory meeting. It also felt like a little break, so that wasn't so bad. Eloise started to come down with a cold the next day. She had a rough time sleeping because of it, so I had a rough time sleeping. I came down with a cold on Thursday, as well. Thursday was also the day Iris woke up with all of the bites that we had to have looked at to make sure it wasn't chicken pox, so she missed school that day. That night Matt's sister (okay, on a side note, I'm going to start referring to her as my sister-in-law, or SIL, because you know, for all intents and purposes, that's what she is, and it's easier to write!) so my SIL came that afternoon. It was sooooo wonderful to have another adult here to talk to. She helped us out so we could go to Iris' friend's birthday party. Hooray for free dinner and a party! SIL spent the night that night and on Friday I was supposed to have a playdate with a mama and her son from school. The very first playdate I have ever had (aside from the ones with the only mama I knew from before school) with another family from school-- in almost two years of attending with Iris. So, we had it planned, and I call her and leave a message, and I never hear back. I still haven't heard back. Should I call again? I don't know. Now it's weird. I hate that. Friday night Matt's mother came in to town (my MIL, you following?). I was so excited that she could come. We've had some rough interactions in the past and I was thrilled to have it be just her and us and be on a good page and enjoy spending time together. Friday night was rough, I got five hours of sleep. Saturday we spent going to the mall and to the party I mentioned in my previous post. Not too much sleep Saturday night, either. MIL leaves on Sunday. I immediately started freaking out. She was so helpful while she was here and it was such a nice visit. Sunday night I started feeling some anxiety stuff coming on, but I just sort of tried to breathe and deal with it. I couldn't get to sleep until 2:30 am because I was just sitting up and freaking out. Every time I laid down I would feel sick and like something really terrible was going to happen. I basically couldn't go to bed until I was was too exhausted to stay awake any more. On Sunday I had emailed our entire school asking if I could pay anyone to help out with Iris on Monday so I could have a break. Total responses? One, but she didn't call until late afternoon Monday and Iris was already napping and the mama only had a very small window where she could have watched Iris, anyways. Things wet drastically down hill that night. Around the time I started putting the girls to bed I felt very sick. I couldn't even really deal with the girls and just put Iris to bed without brushing her teeth or anything. She was fine with it, but it just was so hurried. Then I was pacing around outside with Eloise and trying to breathe. I finally tried calling Matt and couldn't talk to him until 9:30 at which point I was a sobbing mess and was feeling like I was going to die. I didn't even know why. He called SIL and asked her to come over and stay here. As soon as he told me she was coming over I immediately started feeling more normal and by the time she arrived I felt basically back to normal. I actually had a real night of sleep last night, as well. It was so comforting to have SIL here that I felt safe enough to sleep. As Eloise is still boogery and coughing, another mama from school worked for me so I could stay home on sick baby duty. Matt told me he asked SIL to come back again tonight.

So, that's it in a nutshell. Falling apart left and right. It's become glaringly obvious that I need to get to a doctor to figure out what the hell is going on with me. I've never before in my life had panic attacks and last night was certainly the worst I've ever felt. Matt was asking me if there was something that was upsetting me and there wasn't anything. It was so weird. I just was freaking out over nothing, I guess. I don't really know. I suppose that's how panic attacks work, huh? I've just been so beyond grateful for Matt's family for being here for me. I honestly don't know what I would have done if SIL wasn't able to come. I probably would have made Matt, who was already sleep deprived because of his insane work schedule on the road, talk to me the whole night. He wold have, too, because he's awesome like that. Iris and Eloise both have actually been little dreams, too. I mean besides the sickness, they were both happy and well-behaved and pretty much doing all of the things a mama likes so that my life is easier. If Iris had been in one of her sassy moods it could have been soooooo much worse. Last night while I was struggling she was just walking around the living room with some toys poked on to chop sticks pretending they were popsicles. This charade went on for quite some time and I was beyond grateful that she could entertain herself without making things really hard on me.

I just feel so defeated. I wanted to be totally normal and fine and great when Matt was gone. I don't know what happened. It feels like a normal person should have been able to keep everything together.

So Matt will be home tomorrow, in time for Valentine's Day! We are planning a suprise for him, as we couldn't be more excited that he's finally coming home. He's our hero :)

A terrible party guest

Don't ever invite me to a party. Seriously. I'm not a good party guest. I'll eat all of your food and provide alarmingly little intelligent conversation. I guarantee it.

On Saturday night Matt's mom and I took the girls to a little party at his sister's apartment. She was having a get-together with some friends of hers and her new-ish boyfriend, who we hadn't had a chance to meet, yet. As I don't travel lightly when it comes to two children, I was pleasantly surprised to find that I actually spent a good deal of time without either of them under my direct supervision. Of course, when they weren't, I was shoveling food in my face. When they were under my direct supervision, the vast majority of my energy is spent making sure they doing okay. Carrying on a conversation with a babe in my arms, for example, is shoddy at best. I spent alot of time talking about my daughters, childbirth and being a stay at home mama. Woo Hoo! No, it was nice, to talk to new people, but I feel like such a boring person. You see, this party, full of child-less smarty pants. No, seriously, like doctors, going-to-be doctors, mathematics and chemistry people, you get the idea. But they were all really neat, not weird dorky science nerds like I am making them sound. So, here I am surrounded by funny, brilliant, interesting folks and damn if I don't have a single intelligent thing to say. Hmmmm, no wonder I don't go out more. Or maybe this is what happens when I don't go out? Who knows. I'm not a terribly social person by nature and being a mama has given me a nice little wall to hide behind, but it's also frustrating to have been hiding behind it for so long that I wouldn't know how to come out from behind it if I wanted to.

One of the many fantastic things about Matt is that he is very social and outgoing. I like that trait about him because it is so different from my own personality. Typically, when I attend social functions with him I can ride on his coat tails when I want to be social otherwise I can drown myself in the world of children and avoid adult interaction.

So, let this be a warning to all of you who were thinking of, you know, inviting me to a party. I'm a terrible party guest.

Updated my blogroll

If you get a chance, make sure to visit all of the amazing blogs I have in my blogroll. I've recently updated it, as well, to include some blogs I have been following for a while. I'm particular about my blogroll, as you can see it's pretty short! I read every single post on every single blog, as well. Usually I read through bloglines so I am often too lazy to go to each blog an add my comments. I am well aware that I have been very much slacking in that department, so my apologies! I will try to get better. But really, I do read all of these blogs and very much enjoy them all.

Oh, and New Mama's Nest and Mama C-Ta? Still waiting patiently for you to post your tattoo pictures!

Pitiful.

That's really the best word I've got to describe us right now. Sigh. It's 5:45 am, in case you're wondering. Eloise has been wide awake since 5:00. I am actually counting my blessings and thanking the heavens for even bestowing close to five luxurious hours of sleep on us, because at 11:30 last night it looked like sleep was going to be a no-go for the both of us. Miss Eloise is coughing. And coughing. And then coughing a little more. She couldn't really get any decent stretch of sleep at all yesterday and was quite the crabby-pants because of it (wouldn't you be?). I pretty much just wore her in the sling most of the day because my pathetic little wrists couldn't handle hanging on to her that much. She was so sad, and screaming, and just, well, pitiful. I think it would have been a completely hopeless day had it not been for Iris and her completely angelic demeanor. But last night, just as I succumbed to a sleep-less evening, Eloise fell asleep, and stayed asleep, so I decided to risk going back in the bedroom and laying down with her. As you may remember from my complaining about the family bedroom and how it totally. doesn't. work. I have to care for awake/sick/otherwise disruptive children in the living room for fear of waking the other child up in the bedroom. She stayed asleep, though, and we got a good stretch of sleep. She woke up looking like someone had sneezed a giant nose-full of boogers all over her eyes. Yummy! Amazingly, the girl is just laying on the couch next to me playing and squealing and trying her very hardest to shimmy towards the cat so she can attempt stuffing his whole body in to her mouth.

And not that anyone cares, but I'm sick, too. Yeah, that's pretty much always an afterthought, um, always when you're a parent, but I'm feeling a little pitiful myself. I'm cursing myself for not picking up something for my throat when the girls and I were out on a brief excursion for flea medicine for the cat yesterday. Oh, yes, those bites Iris is getting? The doctor thinks they are flea bites. How great! My daughter has fleas! Oh, joy, I'm the best mother of all time. So, alas, even the cats needs took precedent over my own yesterday. As a side note, do you know how expensive flea medicine is? My goodness. Pets are expensive. I am sure Benjamin will probably kick the bucket before we even go through the "buy eight million tiny expensive vials of medicine and get one free!" promotion I was sucked in to. Oh, well. Hopefully it will end the consuming of my daughter's blood.

Oh, Pedipeds, how I love thee!

I am obsessed with Pediped shoes. We were given a pair of hand-me-downs from a generous friend (this pair, actually) and I LOVE them. I always thought that Robeez were the end-all, be-all of children's footwear, but now I know better. The cool thing about Pediped shoes is that thay don't use elastic, but rather a velcroed strap. Both of my girls always got elastic marks on their feet from Robeez, which drove me crazy, but I figured it wasn't too big of a deal. We get way more compliments on her Pediped shoes than we ever did on the Robeez, as well. Bonus!

And no, I'm not getting paid to write this (although if someone from Pediped reads this and wants to thank me for the PSA with a free pair of shoes, I'd be much obliged!)

Yep, that's all I got for today. Eloise is coughing and sick, Iris has new bites, the world is against me today!

The downside of being concerned

So this morning I was changing Iris out of her pajamas and noticed quite a few red spots on her legs, mostly just on one leg, near her ankles. She was scratching them so I realized they must have been itchy. Thinking I would be a good and conscientious mama, I called the pediatrician to ask what might be causing this and what I can put on it. Well, what did they do? Yep, you guessed it, asked us to come in to have them looked at because it could be chicken pox. I was so annoyed, I knew it wasn't chicken pox. She had ZERO other symptoms other than some random red spots. On her legs. No where else. I couldn't bring her to school this morning because of this. Well, I could have. I could have ignored the ped's request to see Iris and went to school with that weird nagging feeling of "what if it IS chicken pox?!?!", but I didn't. I brought her to the ped, who, interestingly, won't even let you in the office if you have even a suspected case of chicken pox, so she came out to the car to look at them. Hmmmm, no. They don't look like chicken pox. Duh.

I'm starting to get annoyed with this particular pediatrician's office. I have been there countless times with Eloise, who has been mis-diagnosed multiple times (if you can remember the yeast rash/strep rash/diaper rash debacle). I hate that I can't even talk to someone on the phone. Shouldn't I be able to describe her symptoms to someone who can tell me if it even seems like the bumps are chicken pox? I mean, the girl was running around the park this morning like a crazy person, so obviously she wasn't sick. I am considering switching doctor's now. I love how crunchy this particular pediatrician is, but I can't stand how every time you call all they say is "bring her in!". Granted, I get that you can't effectively diagnose over the phone but sheesh. This is stupid. I ruined our whole morning because of this and Iris missed school and I didn't get an Iris break and she's completely fine. Well, other than several dozen red itchy bumps on her legs, but we got some benadryl cream for that!

Iris did make out like a bandit at Target, though. She got these boots, a matching umbrella, some disney princess shoess (don't ask. I hate Target because they almost never have the shoes I like in her size so this was the best we could do today.) and a bedding set (50% off!).

It's going to be a looooong week.

While making breakfast this morning:

Iris: "I want syrup on my strawberries!"

Me, being the ever-obliging mama that I am, starts pouring syrup on the strawberries . . . .

Iris: "I don't want syrup on my strawberries!" and proceeds to melt in to full-on tantrum mode on the kitchen floor.

Sigh.


I asked Matt, as he was leaving for work, if I can start using the phrase "Just wait until your father gets home!". Many mornings he tries to give me a hand by telling Iris to "be a good girl for mama today" so I thought I could just take it a step further. Okay, of course I won't say that to her, but wouldn't it be nice? It's a nice, albeit a little rotten, thought.


Yesterday I got quite a bit of alone time and pampering. In the morning I took Melissa out for breakfast for a belated birthday treat for her. It was super fun, although of course all we talked about was our children. We don't have anything else to say really. I mean, two kids a piece, what is left of our brain cells certainly doesn't make for interesting breakfast conversation. In the afternoon I went for a spa visit, courtesy of Melissa, who got me an extremely generous gift certificate for my birthday several months ago (yes, we know who's the cheapskate in this friendship!). I had a massage and a facial. It was quite luxurious. I have to say, though, my skin doesn't really look any different. I expected to walk out of there glowing like a Cover Girl model, but alas, I still look like schleppy ol' me. It was fun, though!

Matt was on extra good partner and dada duty yesterday, as well. Not only did he watch the girls most of the day so I could pamper myself, he ran over to a friend's house to pick up their unused exersaucer for Eloise. We cleaned it all up and she LOVES the thing! Of course, so does Iris, who has proclaimed herself "a baby" so that she can try and climb in it. Iris' obsession with the exersaucer caused Matt to wonder if we've actually made it harder on ourselves by getting a toy that we have to actively keep Iris from breaking while gaining a couple of minutes of free time where Eloise is distracted and happy. I suppose this still remains to be seen.

And in even other news, Iris has decided I am no longer "mama" but am now "mom". She calls through the apartment "hey, mom!" and I get a glimpse in to her teenagehood. She's 2 1/2 going on 14, I swear!