Monday, May 28, 2007

Banned

I am not a clumsy person. Really, I'm not. I rarely drop things or trip. I have been known to juggle an amazing amount of things in my arms at any given time.

But I have this knack for dropping very expensive electronics in water. Let me explain. Last year around spring/winter-ish time, I think (I have a bad sense of timing) I drooped my cell phone in the bath tub. Last summer I dropped my digital camera in the Puget Sound. Last night I dropped our iPod in a pan of water. Let me first say that the day each of these pieces of very expensive electronics were dropped by me was the time they landed in water. I get the cell phone, I shouldn't have been playing poker on my phone while sitting on the edge of the bath tub. I sort of get the camera, I shouldn't have been trying to snap photos of Iris frolicking in the Sound without a better grasp on it. But I don't get the iPod. I was leaning over the counter to plug it in and dropped it directly in a tiny pan full of water. What the hell?

So, I'm banned. I did completely ruin the first two pieces of very expensive electronics. The iPod was off when I dropped it and we'll wait a couple of days before trying to turn it on and discovering the extent of the damage. That sound you hear is me whacking my hand against my forehead.

Might I add if I did send the iPod to an early demise, it would be a while before we could afford to replace it. You see, last night we spent approximately the cost of our entire life's savings on new cords for our fancy new LCD television. I won't say exactly how much they cost, as it is truly embarrassing, but I will say that the cords connecting our DVD player to our television cost about three times what we paid for the actual DVD player. Sigh.

Sunday, May 27, 2007

Healthier eating

Recently I read a great post over at The Falcon's Nest about how to incorporate healthier foods in to a picky eater's diet. Even though I actually have a degree in nutrition I struggle just like everyone else does about how to incorporate healthy changes. We've been taking baby steps here, though, and that's exciting. I thought I would highlight a few changes, much like Kim did on her blog, in case it can inspire anyone else.

I try to buy as much organic produce (and other things) as I can, within reason. If an item is a lot less expensive in the non-organic version, I tend to buy that, instead. There are a few exceptions to that, of course (like I only buy organic milk for Iris) but by and large I'm not going to put us in debt over every little thing needing to be organic.

*I have switched our rice to organic brown basmati rice. Matt grumbles about this change, but it is much better for us. We get it in 10 pound bags at Costco and it comes out to about a dollar a pound, I believe. Iris eats alot of rice, as well, so I feel better knowing she's getting more nutrition in there.

*I am starting to try and buy healthier versions of favorite treats. For instance, Iris LOVES popsicles. I try to pick out the whole fruit kind if I can (and she's not next to me throwing a royal tantrum over wanting the ones with Dora on the box!). Likewise we have discovered that Recharge is even yummier than Gatorade and you can get it on sale for even cheaper. Recharge doesn't have any crap in it and some flavors are organic.

*Switching over some of the crackers we eat to those without high fructose corn syrup or weird chemical ingredients.

*Buying and eating organic/free-range meats when at all possible and switching some protein sources to organic beans and meat-free foods like seitan or soy hot dogs or sausage patties.

*Whole grain breads, which is another thing Matt grumbles about but I refuse to give up on.

*Eliminating foods with MSG in them. Well, all but one. And that one would be Tositos Hint of Lime chips, which Matt might actually keel over and die without. Yes, they are really, really good. I read all of the labels and have found that most canned soups have MSG in them as well as random other things. I had no idea! I like to keep canned soup in the house for those times when I don't have the time or energy to make anything else for lunch.

*We eat salads with almost every dinner.

*I try to buy healthier snacks for Matt. He LOVES snacks. He would exist on beer and snacks if he could! I try to buy nuts and rice crackers and just don't keep other things in the house. Of course, he still comes home with Flamin' Hot Cheetos once in a while, but we all have our vices, right? I think mine is ice cream! I tend to be the one to polish off a whole container.

Overall we're making positive changes, I think. I believe it's very important to model good eating for our children and I think we're doing a good job of it. Even though Iris doesn't eat a whole lot of vegetables, she still sees Matt and I eat salads most days, for instance. We can only be as healthy as what we put in to our bodies and I think we owe it to ourselves to treat our bodies well.

Friday, May 25, 2007

Favorite story

When I was a senior in high school one of our art class projects was to write and illustrate a children's book. I think every other art project I did probably ended up in a recycle bin somewhere, but for some reason, my mom hung on to the book I wrote. This past fall when my folks came out to visit my mom brought the book with her and recently it's become the book Iris wants read to her every night. She says "I wanna read mama's book!" It's pretty cool, actually. I would have never imagined that some day I would actually read it to my own children.

So at the risk of my brilliant masterpiece about androgynous multi-ethnic children being ripped off and published by someone else who will no doubt make millioms off of it, I share with you A Trip to the Sea:











Independence

I am starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel of this whole having two children thing. Everyone told me the first year was the hardest, and I'm really hoping so because I'm not sure how I could last another year through something harder! Eloise is just over nine months old now and slowly but surely, it's becoming easier for me to parent two.

The one big thing that is helping is that Iris has become so much more independent over the last few weeks. She is 100% potty trained now. Not only is she potty trained, but she often insists on doing it "by self!" which means she will go to the bathroom, set up her potty seat on the toilet, move the step stool, take off her pants and undies, go potty, wipe, pull up her pants, move the step stool over and wash her hands. All while I sit in the living room! It's pretty cool. This certainly isn't every time, but it's some of the time.

On Monday the girls and I went to this cool coffee shop called My Coffeehouse. It has a big area full of toys and a train table and couches and they have yummy food and drink. Iris played while Eloise explored the toys on the floor and you know what I did? I ate a sandwich and flipped through a magazine. Insane, huh? I mean, not for like an hour or something, and not without looking up every other page to make sure Eloise hadn't shoved something in her mouth, but I couldn't believe it. The girls were playing independently enough for me to actually sit down and relax for a second. "This is so cool." I kept saying to myself. There was another mama there with her almost five year old and a three month old. I looked at her and thought about how long and dark that tunnel looked when Eloise was three months old.

Dare I say I'm really beginning to enjoy mothering these two girls now? Of course, there were always moments of beauty even in the hardest of days, but the times of fun and laughter and truly enjoying my daughters is much, much greater than the time I spend struggling and exhausted.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

And another thing!

I fixed up the post below just a bit as sometimes when I write it sounds perfectly fine in my head and then I go back later and go "what?". So, if I'm going "what?" then people who are reading probably are, too. Hopefully it makes a little more sense now. Feel free to do some editing when you read this blog, okay?

"Good" kids

I have realized lately that it bothers me to no end when people say that a baby is a "good baby". For instance, if a baby doesn't cry then they are a good baby. Like somehow crying makes a baby, what, bad? Or a child is a "good kid" if they are easy for an adult to deal with, ie obedient and quiet and perfectly respectful.

The reason that this kind of language bothers me is mostly because I have a child who has a really strong personality. By most definitions of "good", she isn't. She hits her sister, she screams, she throws things, she often contradicts what I say. I don't think this makes her bad, or at least, not good. I think this makes her two (quickly going on three). I think this makes her passionate and full of energy and spirited.

It makes my skin crawl when people say to me "Eloise is such a good baby! She hardly cries!" because I know that she does cry. A lot. More than I would like her to, usually. I wonder if those people saw her crying would they say "oh, how unfortunate, she's not a very good baby."

I wish so much that people didn't equate good with easy. Good with happy. Good with, well, anything, when it comes to children. A good child acts how adults would like them to, apparently. Yes, my older daughter gets under my skin, some days to the point I can't handle it another second, but she is equally as loving, empathetic, creative, and well, you name it. Her pendulum swings FAR is both directions, I like to think. She is a damn good kid.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

At her pace

I am frequently bombarded with ideas about what my children should be doing. Such as, she should be sleeping through the night. She should stop breastfeeding. She should be sleeping on her own.

As much as I try to listen to my instincts and parent from my heart, I can't escape nagging feelings that the reason my daughters aren't doing what they should be is because I'm doing something wrong.

Then I sit back and wait. And take it day by day and I start to realize that not over-analyzing and not pushing and following my daughter's cues is exactly the right thing to do.

Case in point, Miss Eloise. She has been an in-arms napper since about three months old when she promptly stopped sleeping approximately 22 hours a day. She wasn't happy to be laid down alone. No way, no how. Matt and I struggled with this because as much as we didn't want to be tied down with her every time she was sleeping, we also didn't want to have to go through the work of "teaching" her to sleep on her own. So what did we do? Nothing. We kept holding her. And holding her. And grumbling about it. And relishing in it. But mostly not changing it. So in the past few weeks we've started trying to lay her down. If she woke up, we held her or I nursed her, but there was no force involved. And now? Now she takes beautiful long naps on her own. She sleeps in the bed alone on most nights before I come to bed. She has started sleeping on her tummy, which has helped this transformation along, as well. But mostly? Mostly it happened on her schedule. And respected her needs for closeness. And we'll never have those baby days back. We'll never get to linger with her like that again. Maybe when she's sick or needy, but she won't be this tiny little snuggly thing. I know this for a fact, as I've tried to snuggle with Iris and she doesn't fit in my lap very well these days.

I just need to keep trusting my children to do what they do, which is develop at their own pace. They will grow in to who they need to be if I step back and let them do their thing.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Earn it to spend it

So I've recently gone overboard in selling the girl's unused or outgrown stuff. I've dabbled in E-Bay, craigslist and selling to mamas I know from message boards. It's been pretty lucrative, and by lucrative I mean everything I have sold has allowed me to purchase the cutest and most fun things I can find on the internet. Like headbands. And crocheted hats. And felt play food. And my favorite line of Gymboree clothes. And little zippered pouches. My only rule is that all of my fun spending has to come from my paypal account and the money only gets in to the account from something I've sold.

I'm not sure how long I can keep this pace up-- I mean, there really is only so much stuff in this apartment to sell! I think Matt was a little suspicious of all of the package comings and goings, but as long as my hobby isn't making a dent in the budget, then he's cool with it.

Saturday, May 19, 2007

Baby pangs

Today we went to visit some friends, Gabe and Abby, who have just returned from living in London since January. They have three children who are 6, 4 and 1. Their youngest was about Eloise's age when they left and I didn't have much memory of her-- usually when we were with them I was focused on my two children and their baby often was sleeping when we were around. Seeing her today, though, after several months away, was so much fun. She is 14 months old and very good at walking. She was really enjoying climbing on her brother and sister's things and was absolutely the most charming little girl!

As I watched the two older kids and Iris play together while the little one toddled around I spent some time chatting with Abby about raising children and how it changes with each subsequent child. I haven't really spent any time with a family with three small children, but watching those kids today made me think about how wonderful it would be to have three. For the first time since Eloise was born I briefly imagined having a third and didn't just freeze in fear. Instead I thought about amazing it would be and sad I felt that I just couldn't bring myself to birth any more babies. If babies could spontaneously appear, I would have a third in a heart beat. Abby said her first was hard because she was an anxious new mother. Her second was hard because they were so close together and her oldest had developed some medical issues that were a struggle. But her third? She could enjoy her third because she is more relaxed and can spend time alone with her when her older two are in school. When I saw how beautiful and happy and healthy their littlest daughter was, I just couldn't help but think about how lucky they are to have her in addition to their hilarious, smart and adorable older children.

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Nine months!




Today Eloise turns nine months old. Wowzers! Every month I just shake my head and think really?!?! She's really THAT old? Wow.

She had her nine month well-baby visit today and now weighs 21 lbs 4 oz (up from 8 lbs 2 oz at birth) and her height is 29" (up from 21 3/4" at birth). She's still a big girl!

Let's see, the cuteness factor has sky-rocketed this past month. She has learned to clap, which she finds beyond amazing. She can pull up to standing on things. She can crawl, but prefers to do the "wounded soldier" which is pulling herself across the floor with one arm, the other tucked in front of her. She gets places pretty quickly with this method since we have hardwood floors. Eloise did, however, figure out crawling when she's not on slippery surfaces. She can get from lying on her tummy back up to sitting, which is very useful, as well! When sleeping she has taken to lying on her tummy which has more than doubled the length of most of her naps and cut down on the number of night wakings, so that's been a pretty exciting development for me!

ETA: I wanted also to mention how uninterested Eloise seems to be in food. This is hard for Matt and I to wrap our heads around because Iris was always a voracious eater. We have introdced all sorts of different foods in all sorts of different forms, but most of it is pretty much ignored or spit back out. She could eat veggie booty, o's and graham crackers all day long, but that's about it. I am so thankful that she still nurses so much, as I know that she will be getting her nutritional needs met that way. I have to keep reminding myself that solids in the first year are more for experimenation and exploration and breastmilk is still the primary source of nutrition, but I still get a little panicky at the thought of having a toddler who won't eat many foods. Eloise is growing and developing so wonderfully, of course, so there is nothing to be worried about there!

Matt was just lamenting today about what we're going to do when Eloise is too little to cuddle anymore. Who will we cuddle then? With Iris it is a very rare occasion that we get to cuddle her. Today, for instance, she decided she wanted me to carry her and I was thrilled-- thrilled!-- because I got to cuddle her and talk to her and we had such a nice time this way.

We're looking forward to the summer and to the big milestone of walking. I think she'll do it at least as early as Iris did (11 months) which would be really nice. We'll be back in WI and MI for four weeks this summer and it would be nice to have her walking by then! We'll see.

Sunday, May 13, 2007

Today is the day for mamas

This was my third Mother's Day. It was relaxing enough. Matt and Iris went to central Washington to visit his parents and grandma last night so they got home today at about 2:00. They brought me a great gift-- an envelope full of a bunch of tiny little decorated cards, a cool book on yoga and a coffee grinder (thanks to Grandma for tipping off Matt on that one!). It was really cool to have all of that time with just Eloise. And by cool I mean wonderfully, terrifically low-key and quiet. I realized that Eloise isn't a screaming mess most of the time by nature, it's because she's always getting pushed, poked or having toys stolen from her. Sigh. The joys of being a little sister! Iris has been a fragile mess since she got home, sadly. I was excited to see her after having a little time away and she has just had one breakdown after another. Maybe it's the readjustment to getting back home? I'm not sure, but man, I was bummed.

At the end of the night Iris slammed her hand playing with a sliding closet door. It was a sad cap to the day.

My feelings on this Mother's Day are that being the mama to these two girls is such an awesome responsibility. Most of the time I feel humbled that the universe has entrusted their care to me. My biggest hope is that I can let them be who they are and not stand in the way of or screw up their growth.

Friday, May 11, 2007

Thoughts for Mother's Day

A friend from a message board posted this for us to read in honor of Mother's Day. It was written by Anna Quindlen from her book Loud & Clear:


NOVEMBER 2000 IF NOT FOR THE PHOTOGRAPHS I might have a hard time believing they ever existed. The pensive infant with the swipe of dark bangs and the black button eyes of a Raggedy Andy doll. The placid baby with the yellow ringlets and the high piping voice. The sturdy toddler with the lower lip that curled into an apostrophe above her chin.

All my babies are gone now. I say this not in sorrow but in disbelief. I take great satisfaction in what I have today: three almost adults, two taller than me, one closing in fast. Three people who read the same books I do and have learned not to be afraid of disagreeing with me in their opinion of them, who sometimes tell vulgar jokes that make me laugh until I choke and cry, who need razor blades and shower gel and privacy, who want to keep their doors closed more than I like. Who, miraculously, go to the bathroom, zip up their jackets, and move food from plate to mouth all by themselves. Like the trick soap I bought for the bathroom with a rubber ducky at its center, the baby is buried deep within each, barely discernible except through the unreliable haze of the past.

Everything in all the books I once pored over is finished for me now. Penelope Leach. Berry Brazelton. Dr. Spock. The ones on sibling rivalry and sleeping through the night and early childhood education, all grown obsolete. Along with Goodnight Moon and Where the Wild Things Are, they are battered, spotted, well used. But I suspect that if you flipped the pages, dust would rise like memories.

What those books taught me, finally, and what the women on the playground taught me, and the well-meaning relations and the older parents at cocktail parties—what they taught me was that they couldn’t really teach me very much at all. Raising children is presented at first as a true-false test, then becomes multiple choice, until finally, far along, you realize that it is an endless essay. No one knows anything. One child responds well to positive reinforcement, another can only be managed with a stern voice and a time-out. One boy is toilet trained at three, his brother at two. When my first child was born, parents were told to put baby to bed on his belly so that he would not choke on his own spit-up. By the time my last arrived, babies were put down on their backs because of research on sudden infant death syndrome.

As a new parent this ever-shifting certainty is terrifying, and then soothing. Eventually you must learn to trust yourself. Eventually the research will follow. First science told us they were insensate blobs. But we thought they were looking, and watching, and learning, even when they spent so much time hitting themselves in the face. And eventually science said that we were right, that important cognitive function began in early babyhood. First science said they should be put on a feeding schedule. But sometimes they seemed hungry in two hours, sometimes three, sometimes all the time, so that we never even bothered to button up. And eventually science said that that was right, and that they would be best fed on demand. First science said environment was the great shaper of human nature. But it certainly seemed as though those babies had distinct personalities, some contemplative, some gregarious, some crabby. And eventually science said that was right, too, and that they were hardwired exactly as we had suspected.

Still, the temptation to defer to the experts was huge. The literate parent, who approaches everything—cooking, decorating, life—as though there was a paper due or an exam scheduled is in particular peril when the kids arrive. How silly it all seems now, obsessing about language acquisition and physical milestones, riding the waves of normal, gifted, hyperactive, all those labels that reduced individuality to a series of cubbyholes. But I could not help myself. I had watched my mother casually raise five children born over ten years, but by watching her I intuitively knew that I was engaged in the greatest—and potentially most catastrophic—task of my life. I knew that there were mothers who had worried with good reason, that there were children who would have great challenges to meet. We were lucky; ours were not among them. Nothing horrible or astonishing happened: There was hernia surgery, some stitches, a broken arm and a fuchsia cast to go with it.

Mostly ours were the ordinary everyday terrors and miracles of raising a child, and our children’s challenges the old familiar ones of learning to live as themselves in the world. The trick was to get past my fears, my ego, and my inadequacies to help them do that. During my first pregnancy I picked up a set of lovely old clothbound books at a flea market. Published in 1933, they were called Mother’s Encyclopedia, and one volume described what a mother needs to be: “psychologically good: sound, wholesome, healthy, unafraid, able to deal with the world and to live in this particular age, an integrated personality, an adjusted person.” In a word, yow.

It is good that we know so much more now, know that mothers need not be perfect to be successful. But some of what we learn is as pernicious as that daunting description, calculated to make us feel like failures every single day. I remember fifteen years ago poring over one of Dr. Brazelton’s wonderful books on child development, in which he describes three different sorts of infants: average, quiet, and active. I was looking for a sub-quiet codicil (see: slug) for an eighteen-month-old who did not walk. Was there something wrong with his fat little legs? Was there something wrong with his tiny little mind? Was he developmentally delayed, physically challenged? Was I insane? Last year he went to China. Next year he goes to college. He can walk just fine. He can walk too well. Every part of raising children at some point comes down to this: Be careful what you wish for.

Every part of raising children is humbling, too. Believe me, mistakes were made. They have all been enshrined in the “Remember When Mom Did” Hall of Fame. The outbursts, the temper tantrums, the bad language—mine, not theirs. The times the baby fell off the bed. The times I arrived late for preschool pickup. The nightmare sleepover. The horrible summer camp. The day when the youngest came barreling out of the classroom with a 98 on her geography test, and I responded, “What did you get wrong?” (She insisted I include that.) The time I ordered food at the McDonald’s drive-through speaker and then drove away without picking it up from the window. (They all insisted I include that.) I did not allow them to watch The Simpsons for the first two seasons. What was I thinking?

But the biggest mistake I made is the one that most of us make while doing this. I did not live in the moment enough. This is particularly clear now that the moment is gone, captured only in photographs. There is one picture of the three of them sitting in the grass on a quilt in the shadow of the swing set on a summer day, ages six, four, and one. And I wish I could remember what we ate, and what we talked about, and how they sounded, and how they looked when they slept that night. I wish I had not been in such a hurry to get on to the next thing: dinner, bath, book, bed. I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less.

Even today I’m not sure what worked and what didn’t, what was me and what was simply life. How much influence did I really have over the personality of the former baby who cried only when we gave parties and who today, as a teenager, still dislikes socializing and crowds? When they were very small I suppose I thought someday they would become who they were because of what I’d done. Now I suspect they simply grew into their true selves because they demanded in a thousand ways that I back off and let them be.

There was babbling I forgot to do, stimulation they never got, foods I meant to introduce and never got around to introducing. If a black-and-white mobile really increases depth perception and early exposure to classical music increases the likelihood of perfect pitch, I blew it. The books said to be relaxed and I was often tense, matter-of-fact, and I was sometimes over-the-top. And look how it all turned out. I wound up with the three people I like best in the world, who have done more than anyone to excavate my essential humanity. That’s what the books never told me. I was bound and determined to learn from the experts. It just took me a while to figure out who the experts were.Copyright © 2004 by Anna Quindlen

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Oh, how I love Trader Joe's!

We hardly ever go to Trader Joe's. I would go more often if I could buy everything I need there, but grocery shopping with two children is a bit stressful, at best. But today I planned for a TJ's trip and we got a whole cart load of food, with many extras and treats, for under $100. I am also that mama who bought a tiny container of watermelon spears (yes, they are called spears!) because, well, they were sampling them and the girls and I liked them and, well, I'm really very lazy. I have to buy my watermelon cut in to spears for me. Sigh. But it was delicious! Our first watermelon of the summer! The people who work there always seem so friendly, too. Which is interesting, because when I worked (briefly) at a TJ's I thought the people I worked with were kind of a-holes, for the most part, but when I'm there shopping, everyone's nice! I even scored the closest parking spot in the crappy parking lot, so all in all, a wonderful trip.

I have decided one of my criteria for the city we move to is that it must have a TJ's. I need to do some research!

It's been so gorgeous outside this week. Upper 60's to low 70's, so just nice enough to wear t-shirts and skirts. My newest favorite thing is skirts. Have you heard? They are beyond comfy. I hated them when I was pregnant and I just realized it was because I was so much heavier than I am now and I hated the whole thighs rubbing together thing. Apparently giving birth solved that problem! Okay, you all probably didn't need to know that! The girls and I walked to the grocery store yesterday, which is a pretty good work-out for me since I carry Eloise in the back pack and push Iris in the stroller and it's about a 20 block round trip walk. I got creative in the afternoon and moved Iris' table out on to the tiny strip of walkway outside our door and I put a baby bath on it, filled with some water. We played with toys in the water and drew pictures in chalk on the cement. It was great to be outside, even if we were confined to a eensy weensy chunk of cement! I am so glad this is going to be our last summer in this apartment. I can not wait for a yard. A real, live yard. With grass and flowers and all of that crazy stuff.

Friday, May 04, 2007

In the land of oozing green snot and pterodactyls

If you were to ask me where I've been the past week, that would be my answer. Both of these ever-so-lovely conditions belong to my sweet, dear babe, Eloise. She began the week hating the whole world, so it seemed, shrieking at the top of her lungs at every chance she got. It was super fun. The only thing that made it MORE fun? The insane night wakings and green snot brought on by a cold (FYI, cold germs, it's MAY. Go away already!).

We hardly got out of the house at all this week, as well, due to the aforementioned afflictions. On Tuesday we finally met Melissa and her adorable boys for play time at a park and then pizza. We see each other so rarely these days that it feels like there are hours and hours of catching-up that we cram in to thirteen second segments while wrangling four children total. On Thursday Matt was sweet enough to stay home in the morning to give me some much-needed rest after a night of little to no sleep out of my sicky-pants babe. Isn't that wonderful of him? If that wasn't enough he took care of the girls the whole night so Melissa and I could take a shopping trip to Old Navy and have burgers at Red Robin (yum!). And can I just say, although my body-- specifically my belly-- is not at all how I would like for it to look, man was I excited to fit (barely) in to a pair of size 10 capris!!! Woo hoo, me!!! It's so weird, though, to have like this whole extra bag of flesh just hanging from my midsection. And oh, so attractive. The ladies on my message board and I love to joke about the "muffin top" and yeah, you know what I'm talking about if you've ever had a child!

Let's see. Iris' potty training is still going strong! That has been wonderful. As with most advancements with children it's slow-going, but we're getting there. We finished the end of three full weeks in undies 100% during the day and about 50% at night and she's had maybe 5 or 6 accidents. Not so bad.

Eloise is still amazingly close to crawling and can pull herself up to standing now, as well! I've finally put my mattress back on the floor because even though I listen very, very closely to the monitor while she's napping I still mostly catch her literally millimeters away from falling off of the bed after she's woken up. I hate having the mattress on the floor, but such is the life of co-sleeping!

That's all I've got for tonight!