I think I have hit the proverbial wall in my weight loss efforts. At first it was really easy to not eat crap, exercise as much as I needed to and keep up a good attitude, but I'm lagging. Man, I miss snacking. It's especially hard to watch Matt fill himself full of all sorts of yummy snacks every night while I diligently stay away from them. I've especially sworn off eating after dinner time unless I'm truly hungry, in which case I can eat something healthy (like oatmeal). I'm rarely, if ever, truly hungry at night. I just like to snack. Two nights a week I allow myself a night-time snack so I don't feel too terribly deprived. That seems to work okay, I can look forward to it. Popcorn has been, so far, the snack of choice. We recently discovered that one of those misters that you fill with your liquid of choice, pump and spray, is the greatest invention ever for spraying Bragg's on popcorn. Though I don't top my popcorn with high-fat ingredients (I stick to Bragg's, nutritional yeast and seasoning salt), we do pop our popcorn on the stove in oil. It could be worse, I suppose!
I also have been struggling during the day. It was so easy to steer clear of cleaning the girl's snack bowls, not sneaking extra slices of cheese when I get one for the girls and avoiding filling myself with high-carb lunches, but again, I'm slipping. Mmmmm, a slice of cheese. Mmmmmm, pretzels and cheese crackers! In general we have been eating healthy meals, but we did make homemade french fries twice this weekend. At least I limited my portion the second time, so that's something. Then there was the trip to the movies and the contraband candy and hot pretzel. Oh, so yummy but oh, so terrible for my weight loss.
It's just dawning on me that this isn't simply a fun thing to do for a while, a fun challenge to work through, but rather actual lifestyle changes. I am making these changes not only in my quest for a smokin' hot bod for my wedding, but so I can be healthy and happy for many, many more decades of my life. It's worth it, but sooooo hard sometimes. Being under stress is the worst, because stress affects my body in a way that makes me feel like I have low blood sugar. What do I do when I have low blood sugar? I eat. And because it's stress and not actual low blood sugar no matter how much I eat, the feeling doesn't go away. I need to focus more on breathing and relaxation before I turn to food! (That's sound of me banging my head on the floor)
Of course, it's so wonderful to feel my body slowly shrinking. It's so wonderful to feel my energy level rise. It's so wonderful to be creating healthy habits to model for my daughters. I just hope it sticks. After I reach my weight loss goal (only nine more pounds!) I will have to re-evaluate and work on the long-range plan, but for now, I'm on my way!