Benjamin is still missing. At this point I don't think he would still be alive. I am hoping and praying that he has, as has been suggested, gone off to die a peaceful death. I can't imagine he would have gone very far. I don't know, maybe he has? He couldn't get around that well anymore so I hope that means he is close by.
I tried going to the neighbor's homes on both sides of us to ask if I could search their yards but there was no answer when I knocked on the door. One person was actually home, but I don't know about the others. I would have gone in their yards anyways if I knew for sure no one was there. I just want him home. Even if he is dead.
I've already began composing my "Remembering Benjamin" post in my head, but I won't write it until I know for sure he is gone. I'll either find him or my heart will 100% tell me his is definitely gone.
At this point the absolute worst thing is that this kitty has been my constant companion for the last 13 years of my life, since I was fresh out of high school. He has lived everywhere I have, he has been patient and loving and a constant presence through the huge changes of my life. To have him just up and vanish is more upsetting than I really want to think about. In fact, I can't let myself think about it because I know I will just fall apart. He was supposed to die peacefully at home, damn it. Apparently he didn't get that memo?