Wednesday, October 08, 2008

What came first?

At story time today. As I was emailing this picture to Flickr from my phone Eloise clobbered the little guy on the left over the head.

I am leaving at the ungodly hour of 4:30 am for a solo trip to see family and friends in WI for a long weekend. This trip could not have come at a better time, but today I was thinking, what came first-- being so stressed out that I needed a get-away or having a get-away made everything else seem more stressful! I swear, though, 4:30 am could not come fast enough. This past week has been one of those that has made me really, really want to go out and get a job. ANY job, just to get out of the house more. I have done a few nights of solo parenting in the past week and wow, yeah, it's for the birds. Further proof that single parents are cut from a special mold that I am no part of.

Sigh. I keep telling myself I need to find the good stuff under the stress, and I try hard, but alot of days I set my sights on that magic time of the night when both of the girls are asleep and I am zoned out in front of the tv or computer, just soaking in our clean and quiet home.

Eloise is in a hard phase right now where she refuses to let go of night nursing, is taking very short naps, and is basically doing the opposite of everything I ask her to. Case in point, during clean up time the other night she sat on the rug and furiously ripped up a paper in a to a million tiny pieces. I want to be patient, to use all of the gentle parenting tricks up my sleeve, but mostly, I just want to be able to actually get something done without having a billion obstacles in my way. In order to get the bathroom floor clean today without the girls killing each other I had to stick them both in the bath tub. They still attempted to kill each other, but at least I was right there instead of imagining the horrors that were occurring in the other room.

Next week is a new week, though. I will officially be a year older. I will be home from some seriously needed mama time, and I know FOR SURE that my children will become perfectly behaved angels while I am away. Sure of it.

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