Matt took this picture of the girls frosting cupcakes on my birthday. I think it is a great example of my girls. Eloise, looking like a crazy strung-out-on-sugar lunatic, overshadowing her sister who knows how to act a little more, well, normal.
We adore Eloise. She gets alot of face time in our house for being the loudest, the silliest, the most demanding, the happiest, the saddest, you get the idea.
She is more of everything. She is a handful. I have said it before, I'll say it probably a million more times. A handful.
I am starting to gather that at school things are a wee bit difficult. I adore Eloise's school, I adore her teachers, I adore the director, everything about it is great. It is hard, though, to really get a chance to talk to the teachers about Eloise, about what is going on with her day-to-day in the classroom. She is there 15 hours a week, so they see a lot of her! Today I got an update, however, from a little five year old in Eloise's class. She came over to me when Iris and I came in the room to get Eloise. The little girl started telling me Eloise had been hitting people. That she was spitting. That she spilled her water on another little boy. She asked me, "does she even like other people?" OUCH. I explained that Eloise did like people, that she just has a hard time figuring out how to get along with them sometimes.
I think, more than anything, this is my biggest fear for Eloise. That her behavior and her outbursts and her harming other kids will make them not want to be friends with her. She has quite a bit of charm and charisma which is helping her out, but at a certain point, kids aren't going to want to put up with her shit anymore.
In addition to how she is treating other kids, she just has major, mind-numbing tantrums many times a day.
Anyways, I'm struggling quite a bit with how to help her. Her outbursts are SO grand and getting even grander by the day, that when she's in the middle of it, it's about damage control. I scan the area to make sure there isn't anything she can break, like glass or expensive electronics. I look to see if anything special of Iris's is nearby, since Eloise is fond of wrecking her art projects. Then, depending on how good I'm doing, I will try to sit with her to help her calm down before talking to her. If I'm just not in a good head space I just leave her to freak out and get mad at her.
It feels like being tender and gentle with her doesn't help, getting mad at her doesn't help, yelling at her doesn't help, bribing or threatening her doesn't help . . . you get the idea. Trying to prevent her from harming someone else or something is always the best bet, but that literally means being right next to her at all times. And this girl is like the energizer bunny . . . her energy level is incredible. I just CAN'T be next to her at every single moment, and neither can her teachers.
Anyways, I just had a particularly rough afternoon (both of the girls were at school until 3:00) so I'm thinking about all of this tonight more than normal.