Monday, December 07, 2009

The tears continue

We're three months in to the school year and Iris is still crying about going to school. Seriously, any advice. Any at all. I'll take it.

All I can get out of her is that she misses me when she's at school. I don't know how to fix that. At first I sent her to school with a picture of the two of us on a necklace but the teacher was noticing it was almost making it harder, as Iris would look at it throughout the day and be reminded of missing me. She didn't wear it that many times, and hasn't asked to wear it again. Not really sure if reminding her of us during the day is good or bad, then. Picture in the lunch? Note in the lunch?

I would love to volunteer to help out more in the class when it is needed but the teacher and I are both worried that Iris will grow to expect it and then the days when I'm not there will be even harder. Sigh. I was supposed to volunteer for a trip to the retirement home last week, and was really looking forward to it, but it got cancelled at the last minute because too many kids in the class had been sick and were coughing/sneezing. I was worried it was going to break Iris's heart but she didn't mention it at the end of the day.

Apparently lunch is getting hard again. She used to cry at lunch time when she first started kindergarten. It sounds like lunch is getting difficult again. Tonight Iris ran downstairs when I was doing laundry, absolutely sobbing because she didn't want to eat lunch at school. I said, well, you don't have to (was the right answer?) and then she said her teacher makes her eat it. Again, I don't know what's right. Yes, she should be eating lunch, because it's a six hour school day, but maybe giving her the choice for a few days will help her reach that conclusion on her own instead of saying she has to? I am going to talk to the teacher and see.

Iris always starts inhaling her lunch left-overs as soon as I pick her up, so I do think she's hungry. Maybe her nerves are making her stomach not feel very hungry? I know exactly what that's like, it's awful, and does make it very difficult to eat even if you should be.

She also complained that she doesn't have enough time at home, which some days she doesn't. We leave almost right after school to pick up Matt from work three days a week, which is about an hour, on average, round trip. Then we get home, make/eat dinner, sit and watch tv, then start getting ready for bed.

The one thing I've been doing is reading quite a bit at bedtime. Sometimes we read for up to 45 minutes, which we all love.

It's all too difficult.


  1. I'm sorry, Sybil. :( That would be so hard. I do think letting her make her own choice at lunch is a good idea...she will (hopefully) choose to eat eventually. If not, I've heard of a lot of kids eating big after school...James does this sometimes, too. He's anxious to go out and play so he'll hardly eat.

    This is obviously a HUGE adjustment for her but she will make it. You & Matt are excellent parents. Keep asking people...someone might give you the tip that you're looking for. Otherwise, it's probably just more time. Hang in there, mama. xoxo

  2. Sorry Iris is having a hard time adjusting. My older daughter Teresa also had a very difficult time getting used to a full day at school and it took a few months with much crying and heartache before she seemed better. We did the picture of the two of us when she was in preschool and it seemed to help. She is in second grade now and while she's much better, she still has days when she wants Mumma and misses me b/c school is so long. It is so hard for them...and us. I think giving Iris choices, and in essence some control over her day, is a good idea. A chat w/the teacher may help you find ways where you both can help make this happen. I write Teresa notes daily, even right on the peel of her banana and her clementines. She looks forward to them. I vary it up so it's a surprise where and when she'll find it. Good luck helping Iris with this.


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