Monday, March 01, 2010

Flailing about

Lauren over at Hobo Mama just nominated me for one of those super cool bloggy things where you tag the other bloggers you really like for some reason. It was extremely touching. I am too lazy (I mean, really, let's call a spade a spade) to go through the effort to pass along the bloggy love (and I wonder why I have so few readers???) but I did want to say, go read Lauren's blog. It's really so lovely. Her recent post on making a sling for her son to wear his baby dolls in had my LOLing. Literally. LOLs everywhere.

So, thank you, Lauren. You grow more sweet by the moment! I'm glad to know you not just through Twitter and blogging, but in my real live world, as well.

I've had a really rough night. One of those nights where you want to crawl in a hole and not show your head again. It started with the auction meeting at my girls' school. I am a co-chair and we have been working our little butts off on this thing. We called a meeting for the entire school with the specific intent of assigning auction jobs to people. We offered childcare, brought snacks, sent out a meeting reminder and we got TWO parents at the meeting. One of them was a co-chair for a previous auction. I am so angry and sad. I know it's not, but it almost feels like a personal snub.

At the end of the meeting I was speaking with the school's director about something to do with how Iris was coming along in therapy and her anxiety at school and it was a lovely little chat. Then she asked me if I had ever talked to Iris's therapist about Eloise. To which I replied "um, why would I need to talk to her about Eloise?" and she let me know about all of the god awful things Eloise was doing to some of the other kids at school. Including (but not limited to) pulling her friend's hair and smacking her in the face right in front of a horrified parent who was there for a tour. Apparently Eloise's behavior has been getting worse and no one freaking told me. Truth be told, her behavior has been worse at home, too, but I didn't realize it was at school, too.

The kid Eloise hit was her favorite school friend and she had just been to our house for a very long (smack-down free) play date on Friday. I sent the girl's mom an email letting her know what I just learned and apologized profusely and told her what we were working on. It just seemed like, I don't know, if my kid was on the receiving end of those smack-downs (and don't think I've never wished she had a taste of her own medicine!) I'd want to hear some acknowledgement from the other parent that they are aware of it and felt badly.

So yeah. One kid in therapy at five, the other being suggested for therapy at 3 1/2. I don't even know how to deal. I've been taking these positive parenting classes and lord knows I'm not even doing it ALL of the time, or even MOST of the time, but I am doing some of it. So is Matt. And you know what? My kids have gotten so much worse. That's it. I'm blaming this all on Alfie Kohn. And sending him my kids' therapy bills. And my bar tab.

6 comments:

  1. No wisdom from me, but big hugs mama. It is apparent that you are a wonderful mama who does everything in your power to help your precious girls. It will get better!!

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  2. Gosh Sybil, I've told you before how scarily similar our kids are... though with Eric in therapy (and on drugs) for aggression his psychologist asked us one day what we were doing for Ian's anxiety! Truthfully we're not really doing anything about that right now. He has really blossomed at his school - he's been there for four years now - so I guess we're thinking it would sort of resolve itself. You are doing the best that you can for your girls - they are lucky to have such a concerned and proactive mama!

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  3. hugs to you, Sybil!! Parenting is not for sissies and it is SO hard! I pray you find the answers you need and some comfort. it doesn't feel like it, but you're doing great for the girls and they WILL grow up to be wonderful people. after-all, they already are, they just need some guidance :) (and what kid doesn't?!)

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  4. The end of this post made me LOL. Big hugs to you and never lose your sense of humor about it all. xo

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  5. I'm sorry you're having such a rough time! :(
    Let me remind you that I think you are a wonderful person and the extent that you go to to make help your daughters be healthy and happy is commendable! You are on the right path and have lots of people that love you and even though things never go in that smooth, predictable way we'd all like, it is going to work out!

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  6. p.s. - that was so cool you called the other parent. EJ's gotten walloped a couple times by a classmate and I don't think I'll ever hear an apologize from that kid's mom. Whenever EJ has done something like that I feel like it is only right to apologize to the parent too.

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