December Carnival of Natural Parenting: Family Traditions

Welcome to the December Carnival of Natural Parenting: Let's Talk Traditions

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama.

Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

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Family traditions are a tricky one for me. On one hand, it seems like so much fun to create traditions over every little thing, every holiday, every milestone, every everything. On the other hand, well, it's a lot of work and I'm not entirely sure how necessary every single one really is.

That said, many of our family traditions center around Christmas.

Thus far, they've changed a little every year. Sometimes we add new things, or tweak old things, or potentially drop things that don't work. I've chosen to give myself the permission to let go of those things that aren't really working for us on any given year. This year and last year, for instance, it was the mass mailing of Christmas cards. I do love doing them, in theory, but they are just a whole lot of work and a whole lot of money. With Facebook being as popular as it is, I can't think of too many people who would get a card from us that haven't seen plenty of pictures and updates over the year already, anyways.

Every year, save for this year (when we were bored and shut-in from a freak Seattle snowstorm), we put up our tree the day after Thanksgiving. We then drag out the small amount of decorations that we have for the rest of the house and pile our Christmas CDs next to the stereo. Our ornaments for the tree have a lovely mix of history. Everything from ornaments from my childhood trees, to ones that were made by my paternal Grandmother, to a set my husband and I were given for our wedding from my maternal Grandmother, to the ornaments we've collected at extended family ornament exchanges to the new ones each family member gets every year.

We celebrate St. Nick's day every year, as well. I honestly couldn't tell you a single thing about St. Nick (other than regurgitating what I read on that website I've linked to), all I know is that on December 5th every year growing up we put out our stockings and on the morning of the 6th we found that St. Nick left us goodies in them. I carry on this tradition with my girls, mostly because it's just so much fun.

A few years back we also started advent calendars. In the past they have been chocolate calendars from Trader Joes, last year it was a Playmobil calendar and this year it is a Lego calendar.

Christmas Eve is the day that is turning out to be chock-full of family tradition. Last year we made our gingerbread houses on Christmas Eve and will be doing that again this year. We also made a fancy Christmas Eve dinner last year, something I would like to carry on with, but is definitely one of those things I will reserve the right to stop doing if it's ever too much for me.

Gingerbread houses from Christmas 2009

On Christmas Eve we give our girls a pair of Christmas pajamas, a tradition that my husband's family always had and is a lot of fun. The girls also get to open one gift that night. I am trying to make it a gift like a game or some kind of activity. This year it will be Legos or art supplies. The presents get put under the tree after they go to sleep on Christmas Eve and Santa comes and leaves one unwrapped gift for each person. This is another tradition from my husband's family. Growing up, my family would have several wrapped Santa gifts under the tree, in addition to gifts from the parents and siblings. Santa's gift may not be the biggest one under the tree, but it's usually the one that the girls most look forward to receiving.


Matching jammies from Christmas 2009

We also are leaving some things open to the girls to start on their own. They enjoy writing letters to Santa and visiting Santa, so we try to do that every year, but I don't really push for it.

In addition to all of the ways we work on making Christmas special for our own family we also extend the giving to families in need. For the past few years I have, sometimes with the help of Iris, shopped for toys to give to Toys for Tots. This year we will be giving directly to a specific family in need and the girls have helped shop for the gifts. It feels really good to be able to share our bounty with those who could benefit from it and I love that the girls are learning a valuable lesson from it, as well.

The main thing I miss, deeply, is not spending Christmas with extended family. When I grew up in Wisconsin all of my grandparents, aunts and uncles and cousins all lived within a relatively short drive. We always spent the holidays surrounded by family. Every single year it breaks my heart to not be with them and celebrate the holidays. When all is said and done, for me, that's really the bottom line.

It makes me sad that my girls won't grow up with the giant gatherings of family in the same way I did, but I can only hope to foster their sense of love and togetherness in a different way.

As my own family grows, I try to continue to ask myself, are the traditions we are creating supporting family togetherness? Sometimes they are, sometimes not directly. Thankfully, nothing is ever set in stone.

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Visit Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

(This list will be live and updated by afternoon December 14 with all the carnival links.)

• Traditions? What traditions? — Olivia at Write About Birth needs your advice: how can she make the most of the holiday season in a new country with only her immediate family? (@writeaboutbirth)


• TRADITION!!!!!! — Ella at My Intentional Journey reminds us all to be thankful for family traditions; there are those who have none.


• tradition! — Stefanie at Very, Very Fine came to realize that families can make incredible memories, even if they're not wealthy (or organized).


• Taking a child's perspective on traditions — Lauren at Hobo Mama wants to keep in mind how important even the mundane traditions will be to her little ones. (@Hobo_Mama)


• Sunday Dinners and Lullabies — Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment finds traditions in the small things throughout the year.


• Simple Family Advent Traditions — Michelle at The Parent Vortex crafted a set of advent bags with daily surprises to eat and to do. (@TheParentVortex)


• Parenting: Family Meetings - A Timeless Tradition — Amy Phoenix at Innate Wholeness discusses a year-round tradition in her household: Family Meetings. (@InnateWholeness)


• Our Mindful Holidays — They may not be "traditional" traditions, but they fit the family of Kellie at Our Mindful Life.


• Our Holiday Tradtions, New and Old — Even with three young children, Kristin at Intrepid Murmurings is finding ways to be intentional and meaningful about holiday traditions. (@sunfrog)


• Our Cupcake Custom — Amy at Anktangle knows celebrations need minimal excuse and lots of cupcakes! (@anktangle)


• On the bunny slope of tradition-making — Jessica Claire at Crunchy-Chewy Mama is finding her groove as a holistic-minded mama with a joyful holiday spirit. (@crunchychewy)


• No, Virginia, There Is Not a Santa Claus — Just because her family is not going to do Santa, does not mean that Sheila at A Gift Universe can't instill some mystery and magic into Christmas. (@agiftuniverse)


• New Traditions — Becky at Future Legacy shares a few traditions she is starting for her family, including popovers, a birthday banner, and service.


• My Holiday Family Traditions — The Artsymama continues a long tradition of adopting family members and sharing two favorite games that work well for a crowd.


• Mindfully Creating Family Traditions — Alison at BluebirdMama has ideas for celebrating birthdays, Valentine's Day, and Christmas — though her family's still figuring some of it out. (@bluebirdmama)


• Memorable Traditions — Lori Ann at MamaWit follows four mindful steps when instituting any tradition.


• Let's Talk Traditions — Lily, aka Witch Mom shares her family's traditions that are centered on the wheel of the year. (@lilyshahar)


• Homeschool Christmas — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now did not always celebrate the Christmas season in the same way with her family, but they always celebrated together. (@DebChitwood)


• Holidays, food and family — For Kristen at Adventures in Mommyhood, the holidays are about family and food. (@crunchymamato2)


• Giving Christmas to the Critter — Rachael at The Variegated Life has found a way to tie her Zen practices to the Christmas story of the baby in the manger. (@RachaelNevins)


• Family Traditions + To Santa Or Not To Santa — Stop by Natural Parents Network to discover some of the traditions from other natural parents. NPN is also featuring snippets of posts from NP bloggers on the topic of whether to encourage children to believe in Santa Claus. (@NatParNet)


• Family Tradition Origins — Momma Jorje discusses her family's traditions, and her desire not to make anyone feel obligated to conform to them.


• Everyday Traditions — For Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children it's the small, daily traditions that make life special.


• Establishing Traditions and Older Child Adoption — MrsH at Fleeting Moments is trying to find ways to start traditions with a family that was made very quickly through birth and adoption.


• Emerging Family Traditions — Melodie at Breastfeeding Moms Unite! shares some of her favorite birthday and Christmas traditions. (@bfmom)


• Does Rebellion Count? — Seonaid at the Practical Dilettante has instituted a day of rest and PJs at her house on Christmas. (@seonaid_lee)


• December Carnival of Natural Parenting: Family Traditions — Sybil at Musings of a Milk Maker tries to give her girls a mix of traditions to foster togetherness — but worries that not being near extended family is a disconnect.


• Craft-tea Christmas Celebrations — Lucy at Dreaming Aloud created a delicious Christmas tradition that she named "Craft-tea."


• A Christmas Tradition — Luschka at Diary of a First Child knows that even though she won't be able to have her usual holiday traditions this year, the important thing is that she has her family. (@lvano)


• Celebrations without the Holiday — Asha at Meta Mom shares several ways to celebrate the winter holidays without focusing on religious traditions. (@metamomma)


• Celebrating the Journey We Have Traveled Together — Acacia at Be Present enjoys the chance to draw closer to her family during the Christmas holiday.


• Celebrating Motherhood — Do you celebrate the day you became a mother? Dionna at Code Name: Mama offers some ideas for traditions to mark your passage into motherhood. (@CodeNameMama)


• Celebrate! Winter Traditions Brought Home. — At True Confessions of a Real Mommy, TrueRealMommy and her family are celebrating many different religions and traditions this month. Stop by to see their schedule of events. (@TrueRealMommy)


• "Always Ready", Holiday Style — Amy at Toddler In Tow discovered that it's not the traditions themselves, but the emotional experience behind them that makes them special.