On Friday morning I wrote a blog post that was even more whine, whine, whine and woe is me. I was going to tell you about how hopeless and frustrated I am feeling about Iris being able to change, or grow, or whatever a kid needs to do in order to not be so incredibly difficult. I was going to tell you about one of Iris's classmates giving me an unsolicited report on Iris's behavior that almost made me cry. I was also going to tell you about how I googled "Oppositional Defiant Disorder" based on Jen's comment from my pity party post. Then I was going to tell you how the definition fits Iris almost 100%. Let's see. I was also going to tell you how MY therapist said it sounds like Iris needs medication, so I emailed Iris's therapist and asked the big question.
I HATE medication. I hate the idea of it. I hate taking my own. I hate everything about it. But I am willing to try if Iris's therapist thinks it would help.
So, anyways, I was going to tell you about all of that (aren't you glad I didn't?! Ha.) but I decided not to. And then as I spent the entire day on Friday feeling like the biggest grump in the world because the girls' behavior was so ridiculously awful I thought maybe I should write another blog rant.
But I didn't.
Today we weren't even out of bed before Iris started in her issues. I braced myself for another one of those days, but luckily, at least so far, things have gone really well. Matt helped me get the girls ready and on to the bus so I could take them downtown to a kids' symphony performance. After that we went down to Pike's Place Market to buy giant cookies and then to eat lunch and then took the bus back home. The girls were so much fun. And they listened. And didn't fight. And Iris wasn't in one of her moods. And it was so great.
It reminded me that those moments are what we are working for, what we are working towards. That there is a kid in Iris underneath all of her difficulties that is so amazing and wonderful and a true joy to be around. I wish there was a way I could remember that when she is on her tenth screaming fit of the day after hitting her sister for the eighth time before telling me how much she hates me for the thousandth time. I get so wrapped up in my frustration and anger that I sometimes forget what a cool kid we have when she either wants to be or can be. Sometimes I can't decide if she is acting out on purpose or because she truly can't help it.