Thursday, April 26, 2012

Under pressure

Things have been a little, well, intense, ever since I got back from Marco Island. The girls did to me what they usually do to their dad after he has been gone on a trip, which is to say they acted like big fat jerky pants. I get it, I get it, they do it to show me they love me, right? So we made it through spring break last week with only a few tears shed (on my part) and seem to be settling back in to a normal week of school-- both home and public-- and everything else that gets done on any given week. Even good stress can still be stressful, which is how I am feeling about the half marathon coming up this weekend. It's good stress. Today my physical therapist taped my legs up all crazy, I look like a hot pink Christmas present from the waist down! Let's hope it helps my hamstring and shins!

The other part of my stress has come from the news we got from the Seattle Public School district that Iris wasn't placed in to her little sister's school for the fall. She was assigned to our reference school and put on the waiting list for Eloise's school, so she will get in only if someone gives up their spot. I wrote about it in more detail over on my schooling blog, but what I have to say about it here is that I might just completely fall apart with stress and worry over the situation long before the new school year starts. We could literally be waiting until September 30th (which is just over FIVE months from now) before we get a definitive answer. They keep the waiting list running a few weeks after school starts and then that's it.

I haven't been able to talk to Iris about what will happen with school in the fall because right now the answer is: "I just don't know". Knowing how much Iris struggles with anxiety has made me keep every detail to on the subject to myself. I don't know at what point will I have to start talking to her about it and about the fact that we will have to prepare her to potentially go to a different school while secretly crossing our fingers that she won't end up there, anyways.

Today Matt and I went to Iris's therapy appointment without her to talk about a few things we can't talk about with her in the room, and I brought up the school issue. I feel a teeny wee bit better knowing we have professional help in wading through this situation because I am sure that MY anxiety over all of it is of no help to Iris. The sweet therapist reminded me that Iris will be just fine if she ends up at the other school, and I think I definitely needed to hear that. Iris often surprises me with her resilience and her ability to handle situations that I never thought she could. I suppose our "worst case" scenario next year is she has to go to the other school and it is so awful (for whatever reason) that I pull her out and home school her again. Not too bad for a worst case scenario, though from my experience with how rocky the beginning of this school year was, I am seriously hoping to avoid that at all costs.

The best thing is that Iris WANTS to go to school. Now, she has wanted to do other things and ended up severely hating them, but this would all be infinitely more difficult if we were forcing her to go to school against her will.

So in the meantime, I will keep running away from the stress (literally) and keeping my fingers crossed that the universe will work it all out for us. It always does!

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