Here's the deal: Despite 13 good, solid weeks of training, I am not very excited about this weekend's 50k. I can't find a good reason to not do it other than "I just don't feel like it", so I'll be on that starting line early Saturday morning. When I signed up for the race I managed to completely miss three things that make life a bit extra stressful.
First: it's the holiday season, which means my attention, time and money are drawn in a million more directions than usual. No matter how much you give of any of those things, it is extremely easy to feel like it's no where near enough. UGH. GUILT.
Second: Um, hello RAINY SEASON. It's been dumping buckets in the Pacific Northwest-- and that isn't unusual. Why didn't I plan for this??? Grand Ridge was awful, Point Defiance was awful, the weather at both just like it is being predicted for this weekend. I have new gloves. I plan to try and stay warm, at least, even if I can't stay dry.
Third: I am working now, and even being occupied with that a few hours a week means my non-work hours are that much more packed with stuff I need to get done. It isn't fun.
All of that said, I absolutely loved my last Rainshadow race, and I assume this one will be just as awesome. There will be a great field of runners (no loneliness out on the trail!) and the aid stations and finish line should be amazing. Despite the weather, and my stress level, I have high hopes that the race is enjoyable. I pushed myself too hard at my training races, and I hope to NOT do that at Deception Pass. My goal is to just finish, and feel okay. I don't want to try and beat any times other than the cut-offs.
My family leaves for Great Wolf Lodge the next day, which was either an awesome or terrible decision on my part, that remains to be seen. The car ride will stink for sore legs, but I will have a great excuse for lots of R-n-R at the waterpark! A book in one hand, cocktail in the other, ahhhhh.
The GWL trip will also be the first few days of a short-ish break for me. Very limited running, more focus on things like yoga and gentle strength training, at least through the holidays. I have some aches and pains to clear up and a level of exhaustion to bring back to normal. Oh, and a little thing called motivation that I seem to have misplaced.
Recently Swim Bike Mom wrote a blog post on motivation vs. discipline that seriously rang true for me. I suggest you read it if you struggle with the same thing. It was a good reminder that we continue to work for goals we've set because we are disciplined, not because we have an unlimited supply of motivation. That idea has dragged me out the door more than a few times in the past several weeks!
See you on the other side . . .